"Giving love is the highest pleasure. Receiving love is the highest treasure."
In Christian circles, and even in some secular ones, people want to know what their love language is. And often the person they are currently dating also wants to know to show love to them better. One large misconception is that we each only have one or two love languages that we show and receive.
Wrong. Some people may give and receive love the same way but many people do both differently. If we don’t ask people what their love language is, we find ways to show them love, right? But that doesn’t mean we need those same things for us to feel loved. In fact, they are usually different because we already do that for others so getting that from someone else may not feel as special.
For example, last year I was dating someone who asked what my love language was. Being a hug monster of sorts, I answered physical touch. But what I found was that in the course of our dating relationship I didn’t feel loved, cared for or even respected because he hugged me or cuddled with me. I found this strange during and after the relationship. This was a way I showed love to others, why didn’t it make me feel loved?
I later realized that I actually receive love differently than I give it. I like to give hugs and verbal encouragement to my friends and family to show them I care and the occasional well thought out gift. But for me, that doesn’t usually carry the same weight. Many times in the Bible Jesus talks about serving others and that it is the greatest way to show love, even to go so far as to lay down your life for another. So to me, it has translated to acts of service and encouraging words.
This realization has drastically changed the ways I love people and communicate with them how to better love me. It has also provided me many opportunities to help friends in romantic relationships to navigate how to better love their partner.
I think that’s the beautiful thing about love though. Aside from its obvious power, authority and unconditional nature, it is also incredibly versatile. Love applies to every form of relationship and comes in many forms. It just shows how big our God is because He is capable of all forms of love because He is Love personified.
Love is one of the greatest things we do here on earth and will continue to do in heaven someday. So don’t try and put it in a box. Explore its many forms and find what best exemplifies love to you and what exemplifies love to others. This will allow relationships to grow and communication to hopefully grow because both participants are trying to love the other how that person needs.
It isn’t all about how we receive love but how we give it as well. And it’s even more important to learn how other people receive it or we may never be able to express our love for them as well as we could and like they need. God demonstrates His love for us in a multitude of ways. So shouldn’t we do the same?
