In my more than two decades of existence I have experienced much of what life offers. Perhaps the most important experiences I’ve had come from gallivanting around the globe. So please, relish in my ethos for I am a learned man.
Adventuring around the world, I have found that there is a commonality among the persons who give advice instead of being asked for it. So please, let me give you advice on giving advice from those that have given me advice.
First you must search for where your advice can be given. I have found that parties, office break rooms, the curb outside of a club at nighttime and any social media platform tend to suffice. Once you are at one of these advice receptacles insert yourself into a conversation. Be assertive; discover what the topic is and how in any way, shape or form the subject matter relates to you. Once a presence is established and there is a moment when the topic can concern you, chime in. Always remember that there is a deficit of your personal and oh-so important advice; there is a void in each person that you must fill with your sage council.
Now that you have something to say you must know how to say it. Do not foolishly assume that giving advice is easy, nay! It is arguably the most difficult part. So to begin, structure your face in such a way as to radiate your sagaciousness. Carry your voice with a sense of pride and utter knowledge, you are the smartest person in the conversation and your advice is the only advice that matters. Remind yourself of that Teddy Roosevelt quote, “Speak loudly and carry a small stick,” or something like that. Smile often and do not let others interrupt or attempt to give their own advice (an extremely rude and distasteful move that is truly appalling to see in any advice giving medium). Keep a vigilant ear for those to whom you are giving advice. For some odd reason when giving advice, especially to those who do not ask for it, advisees feel the need to express their thoughts, do not let this happen—the individual whom you give advice to obviously does not have the correct intellectual capacity if your advice needs to be given in the first place.
Once your advice is given you may choose whether to stay in the conversation or not, I however advise against staying. If you were speaking to only one person it is usually unnecessary to say anything else as the absorber of your advice must take time to mull it over. If there is a group of persons there is usually another individual who feels the need to give their advice, this is essentially garbage for your ears which segues into my concluding and most important bit of advice: never take advice from anyone.
