No one ever tells you what to do; at least, not when it counts. I guess that’s the whole point of growing up --you have to learn from your own mistakes. Knowing that, however, doesn’t make the decision-making process any easier. This all sounds very vague, as I could be talking about anything, but I actually do have a point. Stay with me as I describe this journey of self discovery.
Our whole lives, one thing has been a constant and tiresome practice that we have had no choice but to follow. I’m talking about school. Ever since we were old enough, we got placed in the 12-year, mandatory process. And it is gruesome. I mean, nothing was more banal to my existence than eight hours of hard learning. However, there is a beauty in growing up and having the power to dictate your own future. After high school, the choice is clear: either you go to college or you find a different path. Most choose the collegiate path, as that’s typically what’s in demand for obtaining a successful future. However, there are those who don’t desire another four-10 years of schooling. For a brief moment in time, I belonged to the latter group of people. And -- wow -- was it stressful.
I graduated high school two years ago. Graduating was glorious, a sweet relief. I was confused about what to do with my life. Society said go to school, but my heart said travel the world and ignore all responsibilities. I did neither. I chose not to go to school, but I didn’t get the chance - *cough, funds* - to travel abroad. Instead, I spent about six months working at a mall for the super high wage of eight dollars an hour. It. Was. Wild.
Apparently, if you take a gap year when you have no money and live in a town where nothing happens in a country where traveling takes an entire week to cross over to the opposite coast, you won’t be going anywhere or doing much. Who would have guessed?
Although I didn’t do much in the year I took off, I actually did learn a lot. Here’s some of my personal realizations:
- If your mom offers to buy you either a car or a plane ticket to Ireland with the saved-up cash from your would-be tuition fund, choose the ticket. Always.
- If you choose the car because you think you'll get a job instead, actually find a job or else you'll be spending the first six months of your unemployed and education-less existence crying and watching a lot of Sex and the City re-runs.
- If you are, indeed, jobless for six months, maybe figure out something worthwhile to do with your time - something good for your self worth - like taking up running, learning how to hem jeans, putting on a bra or brushing your hair.
- Watch a lot of movies and TV. I say this unironically. This helped me make up my mind more than anything else did. Movies and TV made me want to been a screenwriter. Which, of course, lead me back to my real passion: writing. Which, of course, brought me to the realization that I should probably go to back to school.
- Most importantly, do not, however hard it may be, dwell on your choice to take a year off. It'll just stress you out and make you regret so much of your time and that's not worth it. Always have #noregrets because there's a reason you took the time off in the first place.
Choosing not to go to school was actually an incredibly easy decision for me. My goal in life is to be a writer, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to pay thousands of dollars for the possibility of one day maybe or maybe not getting a book published. Not every single writer on this planet has a degree in English; they just have good stories. I finalized my plans one night at dinner with my mom and I said to her, “I don’t want to go to Clemson”--the school to which I had committed months prior, in January. Her response was a simple, “Okay.” The next day, I officially dropped out of college and proceeded to spend the next couple of months feeling sorry for myself because I wasn’t doing what my friends were doing and I was so bored and...well, let’s just say I regretted my decision for a while. But then I got over myself. I got a job and applied to the College of Charleston. Everything worked out. Being an adult sucked. Especially being an “adult” at seventy-five cents over minimum wage. Never grow up.
Ultimately, the choice is yours. For all of you out there questioning your future, keep doing it. There’s no shame in being unsure of yourself; it took me awhile to figure that out. Without getting too sentimental, go with your gut instinct... always. You’ll almost always figure out if you are doing the right thing that way. The caterpillar will bloom into a butterfly.
