Does This Make Me A Girl Or A Woman? A Grown-up Reflection

Does This Make Me A Girl Or A Woman? A Grown-up Reflection

An article about maturity

Becca Tapert at

Everyone probably knows the age-old question "Does this make me look fat or skinny?"

It is a common question girls ask each other in real life and in the movies.

But when was the last time we asked if our actions, thoughts, and attitudes reflected if our souls were mature or not?

Honestly, I've never thought about how my actions reflect my maturity in a simple question until this semester. My friends, whom I will call Patricia and Erin, and I lead a small group that has been talking about biblical manhood and womanhood. This bible study has encouraged me to reflect more about my growing maturity.

In the first part of the series, Matt Chandler from The Village Church talks about the difference between boys who can shave and men, emphasizing it takes more than looking like a grown up to be a mature person. I am only halfway through the series, and Matt hasn't paralleled the image of "boys who can shave who only LOOK like men" into a girl version yet.

I'm going to be brave. Below is my best parallel for the girls who do something that women do that doesn't make them a woman (in the form of a question):

"Am I a woman, or am I a girl who wears perfume?"

This question has a very specific image attached to it. For girls, it probably conjures up a memory of playing dress up by wearing high heels five sizes too large for her feet, a feather boa on her shoulders, a beautiful dress and (you guessed it) perfume to pretend she is older... to pretend she is a woman!

I like this question, but I love my own better. I can't seem to get it out of my head: "Does this (fill in the blank) make me a girl or a woman?"

Then I fill in the blank with whatever I chose. Does sleeping in past my alarm make me a girl or a woman? (Women aren't lazy) Does ignoring my teacher while she talks about the upcoming test make me a girl or a woman? (Women respect their elders) Does helping my friend in a time of need make me a girl or a woman? (Women help others if they can)

Does giving myself time to be creative and spunky make me a girl or a woman? (Women use their gifts and talents for good purposes) Does gossiping about my friend's issues with another person make me a girl or a woman? (Women do not speak ill or think negative thoughts about others)

Basically, I've been thinking about how I can grow in maturity. I've discovered there are two ways to do so.

First, I have to learn what is expected of women. The Bible is a great resource for me. This link shows a lot of Proverb verses about womanhood done right and wrong. (I think it is helpful to read, even if you don't believe in God.)

Then I have to reflect personally on how I can be inspiring life, prudence, chastity, and joy in others instead of bringing about death, doubt, despair, and other negative aspects to the world.

Does my speech reflect goodness and truth? Do my outfits represent my love for cute modesty? Do I act with love, mercy, and charity? Basically, I have to choose to do good instead of just learning about being a good woman.

Girls might have all the ways to be mature written in their spiral notebooks, but women live out virtuous values every day. Girls daydream about doing the right thing while women do it every chance they get.

I'm not saying there is a perfect person alive who has mastered all of these mature values and traits. We will never be perfect, but we can get very close with the help of good friends and a strong work ethic (and God's grace). All I'm wanting to do is to grow in wisdom and maturity. I don't want to be a girl, I want to be a woman, and I'm willing to work for it. Are you willing to work to be more mature? My prayers are with you if so!

Thank you for reading this and I hope it all made sense. Peace and blessings.


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Founders Of Color Q&A: Yarlap's MaryEllen Reider On Destigmatizing Women's Health

The father-daughter duo co-founded the brand and has since generated a passionate, dedicated community of women.

MaryEllen Reider

I was lucky enough to meet MaryEllen Reider over a decade ago as a fellow freshman in college. Since then, I had the luxury of being able to witness her evolution from the faithful companion I went to my first job fair with to the woman who is now a pioneer in destigmatizing the portrayal of women's reproductive health.

Keep Reading... Show less

My favorite Editor was feeling under the weather yesterday. All I wanted was to make her a vegan iced matcha latte. With distance forbidding it, I instead decided to write up this quick, easy recipe. I made it to be vegan and organic for optimal health benefits.

Matcha green tea is made from grounded green tea leaf and it comes with the most antioxidant boost ever.

Keep Reading... Show less

This coffee brand is USDA organic. Newman's Own Keurig coffee flavors are all organic. They have French Roast, Decaf, and a Special Blend. I'm in a committed relationship with the French Roast flavor. The smell alone from dispensing 1 cup of coffee sets a whole cafe jazz vibe.

I'm already relaxed when I smell the coffee all ready for dressing. The way I make my coffee is simple and sweet, literally. I add a spoon of organic brown sugar and a splash of organic almond vanilla milk. This cup of coffee has changed my life forever. I have never been so productive in my life and I truly believe it's because the coffee is organic.

Keep Reading... Show less

These organic, cruelty-free skincare products are great for hot, sweaty summers. I use them every day, so you will find my honest opinion about them all. I highly recommend using organic products because they are least likely to be harmful to your body.

This may seem like an extra step when it comes to your beauty routine, but it's really easy. These 5 products could be the start of your next beauty venture.

Keep Reading... Show less

These 5 Black Handbag Designers Should Be On Every Accessory Lover's Radar

With the push to support more Black-owned businesses, we've put together a list of Black owned handbag designers.

Ever since the current upheaval of societal silence happening in the country caused by the #BlackLivesMatter movement, there has been a bigger push for people to support Black-owned businesses.

Granted, there are a lot fo Black-owned businesses to support, it just takes time to find them. With that being said, fashion is a sector, just like any sector really, in a culture that still has people of color calling out for more diversity.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because Therapy Dogs Aren't Just Cute, They're Working

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

There are many different ways people overcome obstacles in their lives. Thankfully, the stigma surrounding therapy is slowly (but surely) slipping away and we're opening up about our problems and needs. For some, a good workout is just as relaxing. Others are learning how meditation can be a helpful tool in their mental health journey.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments