Several weeks ago I was sitting in class when something interesting happened. My professor pulled up her Power Point presentation per usual, but this time there was a side-by-side photo on the slide. One of the photos showed a woman without makeup, the other showed the same woman with makeup and photo retouching. Mind you, the photo of the girl was not over edited and her makeup was not heavily done. It was much more along the lines of what I would call a daily makeup routine for most women. My professor then proceeded to discuss media, the changes they make to photos, and how it affects our perceptions of beauty.
As part of the class discussion, my professor asked which woman was more attractive, to show we have been molded by the media and that we are trained to think that our only option is perfection. We were asked to raise our hands based on which photo we preferred. In the back corner of the classroom, a boy’s arm shot up when asked who would choose the unedited photo. She asked him why, expecting a relevant comment I’m sure. His response is something that has rubbed me the wrong way ever since.
The boy (you’ll notice I’m using boy, because no real man would ever think this way) said, in a very matter-of-fact way, that he would choose her because she obviously has lower self-esteem and would be easier than her makeup wearing counterpart. I’m not certain what he meant by easier. I hate to jump to conclusions, even though I think we all know what he was insinuating.
I was floored. His answer was one of the most appalling things I’ve ever heard a male student say in a class, especially one that is predominantly female.
I couldn’t tell you what made him say it, because I’ll never understand why people think like that. I can tell you that if you think the same way then you are blind to the world we live in, and you are more than likely someone who hurts others quite frequently.
First of all, if you choose a partner because you think their self-esteem is low, that means you are small-minded. You also might be the scum of the earth, but that’s another article. Females in general, especially young girls, have enough self-esteem crushing images and words coming at them every day. They don't need your petty input.
Secondly, if you think anything about a woman on the outside makes her easier or harder, no matter what context you are using those words in, you are sadly mistaken. A woman is whatever she chooses to be, considering it is her choice and not yours. Just because a woman chooses to not wear makeup, doesn’t make her desperate or insinuate sexual promiscuity in any way.
I don’t wear makeup unless I am going out for a special occasion. That has nothing to do with my self-esteem. It has to do with a personal preference. I am fortunately blessed to be comfortable with myself no matter which route I take. There are many women who don’t feel the same way that I do.
Most of the women I spoke to about this conversation were actually on the other end of the spectrum. They wear makeup to empower themselves. They do it because they enjoy it, not to please others.
Personally, I would have rather he chose the photo with makeup and just admit that he enjoyed her looks. That answer is obviously based on a personal opinion. If that would’ve been your answer as well, that’s fine. We all have our own preferences.
What’s not fine is saying that you would choose a woman to date, or rather pretend to be interested in, just because you feel like you could manipulate her. That, my friend, makes you a predator.
You, man-child, are part of the problem. I hope you do not pass this inexcusable objectification on to future sons or ever insinuate to future daughters that whether or not they wear makeup affects their lives.
You’re exactly the kind of boy that I hope my future husband will punch in the throat when they ask to take my future daughter out on a date.
