To The Friends Who Can't Keep Secrets Without Telling Their Boyfriends

To The Friends Who Can't Keep Secrets Without Telling Their Boyfriends

My business is not their business


Part of growing up is seeing boys come and go throughout your life. Whether it's your own or your friend's, there's bound to be a crush, a boy you're "talking to", or even a boyfriend. However, I think the one lesson I have learned throughout all of this is that girls do this weird thing where the second a boy comes into their life, it's like all common sense goes out the window. I think we're all guilty of it too. Boys put a block in our minds where all we can think about is them and how much we like them.

While this may seem like an issue for more than one reason, there is one main problem that I think many girls experience when they're on the outside looking in. The problem starts off small. First, they innocently cancel on plans you've had for a week because the boy they like asked them to hang out. Then, it becomes a little bigger. Then they can't come to your birthday dinner unless he can come too. The next thing you know, your business is suddenly shared with him too because she just "can't help but share because she tells him everything."

If you have ever felt this way, you're not alone. I am so tired of my friends not realizing just how consumed they become with their relationships. While this article may specifically be directed at girls, I want you to know that boys do this too. For whatever reason, people in high school and college relationships can't seem to find the balance between friends and their significant other. I don't want to portray myself as the "sad, single friend" because even though that may be true in some ways, I am also seeing this from an unbias standpoint. I am truly happy for my friends. I think where I begin to have the issue with all of this is when people become too consumed. My two best friends are both in relationships and I have seen significant changes in their personalities. This is normal, I know but there is one thing specifically that drives me insane. For all of you in the relationship,

My secrets are not for you to share with your boyfriend.

When I used to share my secrets with you, I was confident that they weren't going anywhere. However, now I feel like I have to mandate what I say based on if I'm okay with your boyfriend and his friends knowing too. It's even worse when two of your friends are dating in the same friend group because there is never anything "off the record". I just miss the days where I could come to you about anything and everything. This seems to be an issue amongst most my friends who have boyfriends. I just think it's awkward when I know he knows but neither of us wants to address it because it wasn't information for his ears in the first place. I have had a lot of issues with this in the past because when I thought I was just telling my best friend something, suddenly her boyfriend knew too. For the most part, this is okay if he's not a total blabbermouth but I don't get to pick the boys you date. It's upsetting when girls don't know where to draw the line with what they choose to tell their boyfriends because it could end up hurting their friends in the long run.

I get that relationships are a total normal thing and for the most part they are great because they make people happy and I love seeing my friends happy. I just think the people need to realize who had their back before the boy got here and how just because you trust him with the stuff I tell you, doesn't mean I do too.

Popular Right Now

To My Best Friend Who Taught Me What True Friendship Is, I Can't Thank You Enough

"To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding."

Dear Best Friend,

You have been a part of my life for quite some time now. You have seen my good, bad, and ugly sides and have stuck by my side through it all. I don't know if I could ever find the words to truly thank you for everything your friendship has given me, but I am definitely going to try.

Our lives have taken some twist and turn these past few years, but we have stayed strong through it all.

Thank you for judging me just the right amount.

Throughout our friendship, I have made some very questionable decisions. A lot of people would say "thanks for never judging me," but I feel like everyone needs a best friend who's going to tell them how it is, to tell them when they are about to make a bad decision or how to avoid something worse from happening. You have always told me how it is (even when I don't always want to hear it), but I know that I can come to you whenever I need someone to set me straight.

You're always down to do nothing with me.

I think that you are the one person that I can call up to hang out and do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. From the nights sitting in and playing card games to ordering Chinese food and watching an entire Netflix series while I dance around with the cat: I know that we could do anything, and nothing together and it would be fun.

But also, you're always down to get lit with me.

I swear one day we will be two old moms at a bar drinking vodka crans and laughing about the stupid shit our husbands and children do. You're always down to go out and have a good time. Even if everyone else we're with is miserable, we find a way to laugh at ourselves.

You are one of the few constant things in my life.

I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but you have stayed by my side through everything. I can't remember the last time we actually fought about anything, but even when we do we can't stay mad at each other for more than a day. I know we will be in each other's lives until we literally keel over.

I want you yo know that you're the strongest person I know.

You've dealt with things that not many people go through ever in their life. You have always been so mature, and you handle everything with grace. You inspire me every day with your goals and successes and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

Above all else, you deserve the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own mind and think that you deserve the things that happen to you, but please know that the only thing you deserve is happiness. Please settle for nothing short of that. It may take a bit to find your happiness, but I will be there every step of the way. You're a remarkable human being, and I want nothing but the best for you.

To the person who will hold your heart someday, please do not break it. To the person who may wrong you, you will regret it forever. To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding.

You, my best friend, future bridesmaid, godmother of my children, the person to bail me out of jail, the one who lets me cry on their couch for twelve hours,

I love you.

I will cherish our friendship forever. Thank you for being you.

Love always,

Your best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Adriana Ranieri

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Being The Last Friend To Turn 21 Isn't ALL Bad

All your friends have turned 21, but that is okay


You may think being the last one out of your friend group to turn twenty-one is the worst thing in the world, but in all honesty, it doesn't have to be. One of the biggest perks is that everyone of your friends can go out to the bars with you on your birthday. All the people who turn twenty-one first have to wait for people to be able to go out with them, but you get to celebrate your birthday with all of your friends.

Another huge reason you should feel okay with being last to turn twenty-one is thinking about all the money you are saving. The bars are expensive. When you don't go to the bars you are saving so much money because an average bar drink is about seven dollars. This being said seven dollars multiple times a night, multiple nights a week really adds up, so you are going to have to budget your money better.

You don't have to be the one to buy alcohol for everyone else. Having a ton of people ask you to buy them alcohol must get annoying at a point, and if you're the youngest out of your friends, no one will be asking you to do liquor store runs for them because they can all go already for themselves.

The biggest reason is that you can enjoy being young. You should still continue to enjoy going to house parties and just being able to hang out with friends without having to go to the bars. Spend these months before you turn twenty-one just being able to enjoy life without feeling obligated to go out to the bars all the time. You have a great excuse when you don't want to drink on a weekday to just stay in. This being said it will be your turn to turn twenty-one soon.


Related Content

Facebook Comments