The One Sentence That Can Send A Chill Down My Spine As I Walk With My Gal Pals At Night

There's One Sentence That Can Send A Chill Down My Spine As I Walk With My Gal Pals At Night

I'm never going to feel safe as long as men are yelling things at me as I walk to my next destination.

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"Stay safe out there, ladies."

Let me start by saying it's how they say it and when they say it. I don't know what it is about young men and grown men telling us to be safe. It makes me feel unsafe, though. I hate it. I simply want to enjoy my night without men yelling that sentence at us. And you can't make an excuse up for them. I know there are more inappropriate things that are said, but this one sends a chill down my spine.

As a young woman who has been taught to constantly check her surroundings and told not to respond to men who yell out at me, this situation is the worst. These men make it so much worse by yelling at us instead of simply telling us in a calm way. I don't want to walk by a group of men and hear that sentence. I want to walk by them without them saying anything.

I simply want to enjoy a night out with my gal pals, but I feel like I have to be even more aware after a group of men, or should I say, boys, say that to us. I feel as if they are the ones I really need to watch out for. I was feeling okay with my surroundings, but now all I want is to be miles away from them. I constantly check to make sure they're not following my friends and me.

I tell myself not to respond because I don't want to give them the satisfaction.

I think the thing that bothers me most about this comment is the tone of voice it's usually said in. Walking by a group of men and hearing this called out is not enjoyable. Mainly because their tone of voice indicates something else and another comment usually follows. It makes me so uncomfortable. I genuinely hate it. I already know to "Stay safe out there." It is why I have pepper spray and sometimes carry my keys between my fingers.

I should add something you probably already know, but whenever I am with guys I know, this sentence is never said to me. Do I really need to have a guy with me for others not to talk to me or bother me? This is the problem. It is sad that I "need" a guy with me for others to leave me alone. It is sad that the moment a male yells "stay safe" my heart rate speeds up. Why? Because I'm afraid he isn't too worried about my safety, and using that is like an easy way to gain my trust. It's not.

I beg you to stop yelling out "Be safe out there, ladies!" It doesn't make us feel any better. Having a man yell that at you can make you feel worried because you know that he sees you and he's aware of your presence. I'm sure that most women would prefer for you to keep to yourself, and let us be.

I'm never going to feel safe as long as men are yelling things at me as I walk to my next destination.

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To The Sweet Girl With A Broken Heart

Words of wisdom for every girl...

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To the sweet girl with a broken heart,

Do you feel like you're stuck in this hole, six feet under, with absolutely no way to get out? You are not alone, and I promise you there is a ladder just waiting for you to climb it. I know your heart feels like it's been shot, and your gut feels like it's been punched one hundred times.

This feeling is just temporary, and I can tell you that because I've experienced it first hand. I know you feel alone, and like you're the only person who has ever felt this much heartache. I can promise you that you are never alone, and there are so many girls that can relate to you in ways you never thought possible. Don't let one guy dictate your way of life. Don't let one guy dull your sparkle.

Don't let one guy change your heart, or your remarkable personality. Sounds really silly when you read it back doesn't it? All of this hurt, tears, and confusion over one guy! Don't get me wrong, I know that this one guy was your world, you truly thought he was going to be in your life forever.

Up until this point, you didn't see a life without him in it. Girlfriend, look at yourself in the mirror. You are doing this whole breakup thing all on your own, and you're doing a great job at it. You picked up the pieces, and are carrying on all by yourself. You have been through the most extreme roller coaster of emotions, and you road it solo.

That says something, something really special. That says that you are stronger than you ever thought you were. Realize that! This is God's plan for you, to show you just how amazing you are. That you can conquer all things, and handle them in the most graceful way possible.

You are special. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are you! And that's one hell of a thing to be because you are the only you on this planet!

Lift your chin up, hold your head high, and show the world exactly who you are. Never change for anybody. Ever! Heck, get back to that girl you were before him. Strong, independent, confident, selfish. I know the word selfish seems so, well, selfish. But It's okay to be selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to defending your own heart.

Take that vacation, dress up just because, do your makeup and take selfies just because you want to, go to the gym, get that tan, go to that party, spend time with your greatest friends, hug your mom!

Do all of these things carelessly, do them because you deserve it, and because you can! And at first you may be doing them as a distraction from all that you've been through, but soon enough you'll find that you're doing them not because you need to, but because you want to!

Simply because this really is the new and improved you. Learn from this pain. Learn to love yourself again without him, without constantly feeling like you need to be reminded by him that you are loved. Instead, love yourself and I assure you when other people see that, they'll love you even more.

Girls, when we love someone, we love deeply, we love wholeheartedly, and that person never has to question our love for them. You deserve that same exact love in return. There are plenty of other guys out there just waiting to take care of your heart, and love you unconditionally. You deserve nothing but that!

Do not stop until you find that guy. You can change the world just by being a kind hearted human being. Don't get revenge, don't force yourself to move on as quickly as he did, don't torture yourself with remembering "the old him," and definitely don't change. I know it's hard to see him changing in the worst way, to the point where you don't even recognize him anymore. To the point where he feels like a complete stranger to you.

Do not stoop to his level. Trust me, one day, he will look back on his life and probably regret losing you. Of course, I know all you're wishing is that he'd be able to see that right now, but that just isn't God's plan. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself the time to grieve, and hurt, and be upset.

Those are all good things.

That is what is going to allow you to heal, and move on to become a better, stronger, happier, and more mature you! I promise you, that a year from now all that you're stressing about will not mean a thing. This is our one and only chance at life, we can not let one person take away all the happiness that we deserve.

The right guy will never leave, even when times get tough he will always fight for you. I saw something on twitter that said, "take sex away and you'll come to realize that not many individuals have much to offer. This generation is so pressed for the physicality that ya'll forget mentality creates the bond and forms longevity."

That hit extremely close to home for me and is something that everyone needs to remember.

Fall in love with somebody's heart, mind, and soul. Go beyond their looks, go beyond the attraction, dig deeper. Don't be that shallow girl, who doesn't know how to love the right way. You are so much better than that. To every single broken hearted girl, I am so proud of you! I am always here for you, you have so much love and support. I've realized that myself. As I write this, I feel relief, no longer sad or dwelling on the past. What is coming is always better than what is gone. Now get that beautiful smile back on your face because you are too pretty to be sad.

P.S. To the "other girl" (if there is one).

How dare you take him away from me? You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew my whole heart was on the line. Women need to start respecting other women. Think before you act. Would you want to be in my position? I sure as hell hope not, and now that you have him I hope you're thinking about how you hurt me. And if you're not, then you have a lot to learn about life hunny.

It's kinda weird because I can't hate either of you. Simply because I want nothing but the best for him. It's crazy how someone can break your heart into a million pieces, but you still have such a special place in your shattered heart for them. Besides that, take good care of him. I hope he can learn from you, and love you in all the ways he couldn't love me or any of his other ex's. Every relationship is a lesson, and there is always something to learn. So thank you for teaching me mine.

P.S- To "the guy who did this" Imagine you have a daughter someday, and some boy breaks her heart the way you did mine. I hope you think back to this, and remember me. Maybe by that time, you'll feel sorry.

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10 Ways You Know He's Just Not Into You, If You're Being Honest

Let's be honest, we've all seen the signs, even when we wish we didn't.

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Because we live in the era of dating through social media, it seems so much easier to fall for someone with the constant conversation that we are able to have. However, it isn't long until that special part backfires and sends us into crazy town, which relates to the fact that we're unable to identify actions and intentions over a text message, but what does that matter when all you ever see is "Read 10:27 p.m."?

I've collected the 10 signs that we've all probably seen from a guy that they've talked to but have fallen victim to their lovely ignoring tactics.

1. They leave you on read. All. The. Time. 

I mean come on, this is obviously the number-one reason to believe that he probably isn't that into you. Don't ignore the fact that you're left on read for hours at a time because no guy doesn't have their phone for hours. That's just a fact.

2. When they do answer, they use three words. That's it.

OK, so yay, he finally answered you. HOWEVER, when he is constantly using three words OR LESS, he's probably either super busy (less likely), or he thinks you're annoying or boring. Or both. I've gotten that a few times, and it is just lovely.

3. You text first.

While I realize that a woman sending the first text isn't weird, trust me, I'm guilty of it, and, because of it, I have had some of the best relationships produced. However, if you add the first three signs, it's a recipe for disaster already. You may as well detach yourself from your phone or make his name something that you can laugh at when he does decide to text you back. If you are constantly having to text him with ideas or start a conversation, then he is probably trying to hit up someone else, despite all your tries.

4. He cancels plans out of the blue.

OK, sure, there really are emergencies that come up throughout life, and we all know that. But I would like to know how things come up that you either forgot about or they just magically appeared on your calendar, because that just seems illogical and fake. Call me insane, but girls are far from stupid, and if he thinks that he's clever, he really has a reality check coming his way.

5. He's never too busy to post on Snapchat.

This is what I don't understand: a guy can go 24 hours, sometimes even longer, without texting you back. Which is literally the biggest load of bull that I have ever seen in my life because we all know that they are almost incapable of keeping their phones out of their faces, yet they still use the "Oh, sorry I fell asleep" excuse.

Oh, you fell asleep for 15 hours? OK, Brad. Anyway, they can spend the entire day doing everything they can to ignore you, whether it's turning off their read receipts or, sometimes, literally ignoring the Messages app. HOWEVER, you can get on Snapchat and see that they've posted a story. So, cool, you're too busy to text someone back but never too busy for Snapchat? Seems like a logical excuse to me. (insert extreme sarcasm here).

6. He isn't too concerned about your whereabouts.

Ladies, if he doesn't ask how you are (you know, without you starting off with that question, because it is only polite that he ask it back in normal conversation), then he probably doesn't care. And this isn't to say that no guy is ever going to care what you've done with your day, or that they have to ask you all the time what you were up to (let's be honest, that's just as annoying).

However, if he doesn't seem interested in knowing what you do on some days, even on bad ones, then he probably doesn't care about the rest of the conversation.

7. He takes everything too seriously.

The world shouldn't be so serious all the time, and everyone likes to have fun! If you're constantly having to apologize for making a joke or your playfulness just isn't reciprocated, then he just isn't into you. If feelings are the same, you can have fun and be serious (when needed), and it makes for a better life together!

8. He doesn't support what you want to do.

If you have the "What do you wanna do after graduation" conversation and he doesn't support the career you want:

1) He will never be OK with being with someone that he doesn't approve of, and

2) Leave him because you deserve to do what makes you happy as well as someone who will support you while you do it.

And that's just the tea, sis.

9. He will never invite you out with his friends.

With a brand new relationship, this is OK, especially if you're just getting to know each other. But, after a few weeks of talking and having decent conversation, there should be some sort of comfort level that would convince him that his friends should meet you.

However, if you're constantly hinting that you're free on a night that he's going out, he's either really stupid, or he doesn't want his friends to know that you exist. This sign really sucks because it makes a girl feel like he either has a night out with just the boys, or he is completely looking in the opposite direction of you and your feelings. Nine times out of 10, it's the second option.

10. He won't talk about his feelings with you.

Here's the kicker. You can call and leave a message or send a long text explaining how you feel, even if you think that he will ignore it (which is crazy that we have to worry about that nowadays). However, even if you ripped your own heart out and handed it to him on a silver platter, the answer you'll receive back is never what you want to hear. In my experience, they mostly work themselves around the question you're asking, and you will be able to tell by their response just how little they really care about you.

If you're like me, explaining your feelings is so hard to do to someone that you have feelings for, and you're almost afraid to tell them how you feel because you don't want them to get scared away. But sometimes, it is better to know the truth about their feelings than to keep pretending as though everything is OK.

The thing is ladies, guys do kinda suck sometimes. However, when you find the right person, you'll never think twice about these stupid signs or even that you may have gone a few hours without talking to each other.

My advice to those in weird situations, as in you really don't know what the heck is going on with a guy, is to just ask him how he feels. Obviously, if he doesn't seem enthused, then he isn't the right one. And sometimes, they will say that they're into you, but it seems that they will later change their minds and go back to the same old ways of harsh ignoring. No matter how afraid you are to know, you can't spend your whole life worrying that he may not like you back.

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