"Stay safe out there, ladies."
Let me start by saying it's how they say it and when they say it. I don't know what it is about young men and grown men telling us to be safe. It makes me feel unsafe, though. I hate it. I simply want to enjoy my night without men yelling that sentence at us. And you can't make an excuse up for them. I know there are more inappropriate things that are said, but this one sends a chill down my spine.
As a young woman who has been taught to constantly check her surroundings and told not to respond to men who yell out at me, this situation is the worst. These men make it so much worse by yelling at us instead of simply telling us in a calm way. I don't want to walk by a group of men and hear that sentence. I want to walk by them without them saying anything.
I simply want to enjoy a night out with my gal pals, but I feel like I have to be even more aware after a group of men, or should I say, boys, say that to us. I feel as if they are the ones I really need to watch out for. I was feeling okay with my surroundings, but now all I want is to be miles away from them. I constantly check to make sure they're not following my friends and me.
I tell myself not to respond because I don't want to give them the satisfaction.
I think the thing that bothers me most about this comment is the tone of voice it's usually said in. Walking by a group of men and hearing this called out is not enjoyable. Mainly because their tone of voice indicates something else and another comment usually follows. It makes me so uncomfortable. I genuinely hate it. I already know to "Stay safe out there." It is why I have pepper spray and sometimes carry my keys between my fingers.
I should add something you probably already know, but whenever I am with guys I know, this sentence is never said to me. Do I really need to have a guy with me for others not to talk to me or bother me? This is the problem. It is sad that I "need" a guy with me for others to leave me alone. It is sad that the moment a male yells "stay safe" my heart rate speeds up. Why? Because I'm afraid he isn't too worried about my safety, and using that is like an easy way to gain my trust. It's not.
I beg you to stop yelling out "Be safe out there, ladies!" It doesn't make us feel any better. Having a man yell that at you can make you feel worried because you know that he sees you and he's aware of your presence. I'm sure that most women would prefer for you to keep to yourself, and let us be.
I'm never going to feel safe as long as men are yelling things at me as I walk to my next destination.
