Sweet sister,
I know what’s going on in your mind. I’ve been there, and I’d argue to say we’ve all been there at one point. You’ve been dumped, ghosted, ignored, abused or cheated on. You’ve put your beautiful heart in the hands of a man who didn’t know the true value of what he held. You believed a lie, and now you’re struggling with the idea that you could still care for someone who hurt you so bad.
Friend, a man does not determine your worth. No human does. Have you forgotten? YOU determine your identity, no one else. YOU can choose whom to be everyday. YOU look yourself in the mirror every morning and shape the rest of your day. It’s all about you. Don’t let someone else tell you otherwise.
Now I’m a big believer in the theory that the world doesn’t revolve around you. The world spins madly on as your personal haven crumbles. But I want you to see this as an opportunity. Look that man in the eye, give him a smirk and some curse words, and then walk away like the queen you are. Maybe you’re not looking at a man, maybe you’re staring at your own self in the mirror and dealing with your insecurities. They do not own you. You choose the image that’s reflected.
I’ve watched you in this cycle of hurt and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of seeing you run to men for attention, let your uncertainties control you, and not stand up for yourself. I know sometimes it’s hard to be strong enough. Let me stand beside you, we can be strong together.
We accept the love we think we deserve. You deserve the best. I know sometimes you don't see it, but I do. You are worthy of a brilliant love. A love that causes you to smile when you wake up, dance to love songs on the radio, and use corny Instagram hashtags you swear you never would. But first, you have to love yourself.
You have so much to offer in this big, bad world. You were put here to make the world better, and I don’t want to see someone hold you back or distract you from that. I want to slap that pretty face of yours and tell you to WAKE UP. This life is too short to not be treated like you deserve.
Cry it out, let your hurt be known, and do not dwell there. Stand confident that your joy does not come from another, and know that you will be stronger because of this.
This world is full of ugly, broken humans, and chances are you’ll be hurt again. Over and over and over. But you can handle it. There is always a tomorrow, always a new sunrise, and always a stranger willing to stand up for you. I’m right here.
No love is perfect, but you deserve the love you’ve been desiring and craving your whole life. I hope you have the courage to be alone until you find that. Being alone will define you into the badass woman I know you are.
Heartbreak will never be the end of you. Another human will never determine your worth. I can’t even tell you what to think of yourself. But I’m on your side. I believe the best in you, and I believe that you’re worthy of the best of the best. As the author Kathryn Stockett reminded us in her novel ‘The Help,’
“You is kind,
you is smart,
you is important.”
Love,
Your dear friend Ariana
