It is said that every little girl needs her father. It is said that every little girl's first love should be her father. Yet, some little girls have suffered from the fact that their father is not an example that they would want in a husband. A relationship at home could affect everything. Your career, your relationships, your whole future. Yet, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Usually, the differences between a father and a daughter don't happen until the daughter reaches their teenage years, Well, when it comes to my father and I, the differences between us happened when I was only seven years old. This started when I was struggling in school. My father thought I didn't try hard enough. If anything, he would yell at me. Growing up it was the same thing. There are some occasions he would hit me.
Let's fast forward to my pre-teen years. My father and I were distant. Did he have his good moments? Yes. He taught me so much. He even begged my old middle school to transfer me out of a school I was being bullied in, and I made it. He taught me to work hard. Yet, it wouldn't last long. In 2012 my father almost died. He survived a collection on health issues including, kidney failure, brain aneurysms, and heart failure. When I saw him hooked up to all the machines, my heart was broken. I promised myself that I would be there for him no matter what. Yet, after the accident, that promise was broken.
He would get so angry. He would take his frustrations out on my sister, my mother and me. It's like the older I got the worse he became. My father kicked my mother out of the house. I thought I was broken. He showed me his flaws. There were incidents when he would slap me across the face. There were incidents when he would drag me on the floor, and the most recent is when he almost kicked me out of the house and saying, "To hell with you!" This all tied into the little stuff I did.
My father would say that I have a bad attitude, and I have the tendency to act like a grown woman. Yet, he doesn't get that I am almost 20 years old. He would be mad at me for being the reflection of him the way he treats my grandmother. He doesn't see that we are so alike. As much as it pains me to say it. We are the same person.
My staus with my father are silence and deafening. As much as it hurts, I have to keep moving forward. There are a few things I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of falling in love. I'm afraid of having children. In this situation, this fear comes with rage. I smile outside, but I hurt inside. My father doesn't talk to me. It's very painful to picture a life without my father. But, if there is anything I learned in this situation, it's that God is planning something big.
To all the daughters with issues with their fathers, let me share with you what my older sister shared with me. You are loved, You have people who are on your side. This situation is not your final destination, because God is going to do something big with your life to remind yourself that you are an overcomer.
If you don't have people on your side. I dare you to trust God. You could lose everything you have, but as long as you have God, that's all you need. God will guide your footsteps, and he will lead you in a victorious path. Will you hurt? Yes. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. But that's what life is all about. It's to break you, so you can be stronger. I am Gracefully Broken because God is bigger than my circumstances. To the daughters with daddy issues, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
