Whether she is an alcoholic, a prescription drug abuser, addicted to men, addicted to hard drugs, or addicted to anything that has taken her focus off of you. I am sorry. I know that sorry doesn't make it hurt any less and I know that you pretend you don't care. But I am still sorry. I know what it's like to have to hold your own hair growing up while you get sick. I know the pain you feel as all your friends talk about shopping with their mothers. I know what it feels like to go to Mother/Daughter events alone. I know that It never gets any easier, but we sure are good at pretending it does. I know the struggle you face as you search through dozens of Mother's Day cards, and none of them describe your mom. I know how it feels to finally settle on a card that is superficial or funny because you give up on finding one that tells the truth. The truth being that you feel motherless most days. The truth being that your mom is not your best friend. The truth being that you can't even find it in your heart to forgive her, and yet there you are standing there picking out a card because it is what you are supposed to do.

I know because I've been there.

I know because last year my mother was strung out on prescription drugs for over 10 years and I had just about given up.

And then it was a few days after Mother's Day and she was being taken to the hospital.

And then I walked into the ER to witness her having a seizure.

And then I broke down in the hallway because that was my mother.

And then they thought she was overdosing.

And then they thought she was detoxing.

And then my mother didn't know who I was.

And then I couldn't stop holding my mother's hand because she is my mother.

And then she was supposed to be getting better and she was getting worse.

And then I thought she was going to die.

And then I thought I was going to lose my mother.

And then she laid there and looked like a vegetable.

I was never going to get to have her play with my hair.

I was never going to get to fix my relationship with her.

I was always going to blame myself for not doing more.

I was always going to blame myself for not forgiving her.

And then out of nowhere, she got better...

And I got a second chance.

I know that my story isn't everyone's story. I know that sometimes there is so much hurt that things can't be mended. I know not everyone gets a second chance. I prayed for my mother for over 10 years. It took 10 years of not having a mother before God gave her back to me. But if I can tell any of you one thing, it is do not give up. DO NOT GIVE UP. I don't care if you think that it doesn't make a difference whether she knows you love her or not, it does. Maybe you will get the chance to mend your relationship. Maybe, like me, a miracle will happen and you will be sitting there a year later able to call your mom your best friend. But, if not, you still have to forgive her. Because she is your mother, and whether or not she does a good job at being a mom, one day she won't be here to forgive anymore. More than anything, you have to forgive her for yourself. You owe yourself that much.

Prayer works.

Love works.

Persistence works.

And if you are lucky enough to have a mother who does all that and more than a mother should. Go hug her. Go call her and tell her you love her. Go love her for those of those who don't have a mother to love. Cherish her for those whose mothers aren't cherishable. And share her. I am so lucky to have had three honorary mothers when mine wasn't there for me. I am beyond blessed for the abundance of mothers in my life.

But for the rest of you...

Just don't give up on her.