"I'm the kind of girl that people come up to and start talking to."
I heard these words come out from the mouth of a teenager that was a good 4-5 years younger than me. We were chatting with a group of other girls at an event when she spotted her "crush" across the room and got all flustered. I encouraged her to go say hi, but she interrupted me with that one line.
Unsurprisingly, nobody came up to her that night. I made my rounds and spoke to a few people, but she stayed in the corner and fiddled on her phone, waiting.
Waiting for what?
Nobody walked up to her. Nobody introduced themselves. Her "crush" didn't speak to her.
This is essentially the real-life scenario of the girl who waits for a guy to text her first.
Here's the thing: what is so bad about making the first move? What is so bad about walking up to someone and introducing yourself? What is so awful about sending the first text? (Oh, and for the record: her "crush" didn't text her either.)
If you're waiting for him to message you first, you're making the guy do all the work. And yes, the "chase" may feel nice, but in the end, you're just sending out vibes that tell him you can't be bothered to talk to him first.
Be in the guy's shoes for a second. If you are the ONLY one that starts conversations with your person of interest, then it feels like you're the only one that's interested enough to start anything.
At that event, I wanted to walk up to that girl's "crush" and start talking to him, just to see how she would react. I didn't act on it, but if I did, I would have gotten more out of five seconds of courage than she did out of a whole night of waiting.
Her attitude reminded me of this one quote that says "You don't demand respect, you command it." Her whole demeanor that night was one of high expectations; she expected people to come up to her. On the flip side, I didn't expect anything from anybody. I walked up to strangers and left making a few friends.
That teenage girl felt entitled to attention. While she never explicitly said it, it was clear that she was disappointed because her "crush" hadn't acknowledged her all night - when she was obsessed with pretending he didn't exist.
If you're waiting on someone to message you first or make the first move, I advise you to do one of two things: take action or expect disappointment. Sure, you may get a text if you wait, but you are just as capable of starting a human interaction on your own.
You can't expect people to telepathically understand you, because they won't. Honey, if you keep waiting, you're just giving more and more power to someone who isn't investing half as much time into you.
What are you waiting for?
Instead of waiting for an opportunity or a conversation, go out and find it for yourself. Pick up your phone and send a simple text. Stand up and walk over to that cute guy. Don't wait for someone else to validate your existence or give you attention - you don't need it.
