In middle school, they told me that, "High school will be better."
So, I waited.
In high school, they said, "You'll flourish in college."
Still, I waited.
Halfway through college, they said, "You’re still going to peak in college, you'll see."
Waiting is exhausting.
Then they said, "This is the best time of your life...why are you wishing it away?"
Finally, I stopped waiting. I think I would still be waiting. But then, I answered the question that had plagued me since I was a middle schooler.
When was I going to catch up with myself? When will I feel like I was the correct age, at that right "peak" moment of my life?
When I was thirteen, I felt like I should be twenty years old. When I was sixteen, I felt like I should be thirty years old. I kept waiting to "peak." I saw the girls who peaked in high school. I saw the girls who peaked in college. Then I saw myself. Instead of wondering when I would peak...I realized I already had.
I peaked a long time ago. That's the answer.
It was everyone else telling me I would peak later. I would be the best version of myself eventually, right? I was told day in and day out that college was the best time of my life. I believed them.
Half way through college, I realized that I didn't want it to be. I don't want college to be the best days of my life. First off, that's a lot of pressure to put on your days. Especially when you're just trying to take it day by day.
Realizing that I didn't want college to be my best days only made the idea that I'd already peaked even more concrete in my mind. I realized that there's more to life. There's more to life than high school or college.
There's more to life than booze and frat parties. Peaking isn't knowing how to perfectly apply your mascara while picking out the perfect outfit for the party. Peaking as a person means that you understand that the best days are yet to come. And they are coming.
Peaking is knowing there's more to life than that. It's maturity. It's planning your career and doing anything you can to make sure you'll have it one day. Peaking is being excited for the days to come. For my wedding day. For my future children’s' birthdays.
Peaking is meeting the love of your life when everyone told you you're too young to live together or to be that serious. Peaking is when you decide it's the best time for you. My time wasn't high school or even middle school. It wasn't college. It wasn't when people told me it should be. It was when I decided it should be.
Peaking is being happy with yourself, your life, and your situation.
The best part? You are capable to change any three of those things. I'm the girl who couldn't wait to get out of high school, and I am still the girl who can't wait to get out of college. And for once in my life...I'm okay with that. I like that about myself. Because for the first time in my entire life, I feel like I'm caught up.
I'm twenty years old, and I feel like that's the age I should be. I'm myself again. I shouldn't be twenty-eight or forty years old. It's not my fault I grew up quickly, but it IS my decision on how I choose to live my life from here on out. And this isn't because I don't enjoy college or anything like that...
