Most little boys love super heroes. They love running around in their costumes pretending to save the day from monsters that only they can see. This idea stays in their heads as they grow up. They grow up thinking of themselves as the hero, the protector, the one that is supposed to take care of everything. It is easy to see where boys begin to believe it is their job to be the hero, but at some point you got it in your head that it is your job to be a different kind of hero.
You aren’t told it is your job to swoop in and save the day like boys are. Instead, you have gotten it in your head that it is your job to fix everyone’s problems. You started taking it upon yourself to take on the problems of everyone in your life as your own. You’re trying to take on the weight of the world and ignoring the problems in your life.
It seems like you are doing a good thing, because you are putting everyone else first. It is selfless. You are helping your friends work through the issues that are consuming their lives. That's what friends are supposed to do right? Friends are supposed to be there for each other. But there is a difference between being there for your friends and taking on their problems as if they are your own.
Wanting to be a good friend is a great thing, but taking on everyone's problems as your own 24/7 can be exhausting. It’s hard staying up late texting them every night because they can’t sleep and you don’t want to leave them alone. It’s emotionally draining trying to feel and understand everything they are going through. Your own issues continue to get buried below everyone else's and it makes you a ticking time bomb.
You know all of this is true, but you keep putting yourself through it anyway. You're letting your own problems take a backseat. Maybe that's how you want it, because it's easier to fix everyone else's problems instead of your own. Maybe you're putting everyone else first, because they are more important. Maybe you don't think your worth it. Or maybe you just want to be the hero. Whatever the case, you're wrong.
It isn't your job to fix anyone. You can't. It is their job to fix themselves. Your only job is to be a friend. Not their lifesaver. Your part as a friend is to be the shoulder to cry on and the listening ear. It is to be by their side and support them no matter what. You don't have to take the weight of their world on your shoulders. You have enough to worry about.
You don't have to save them. Actually, you can't. They have to save themselves. Focus on saving yourself.
Be the hero in your own story.
