To the girl who doesn't feel like she's found her place,
I know how you feel. And you're probably wondering why. You're probably thinking "she's involved in sports and has jobs and is in tons of classes, how does she know what it feels like to be lost in the crowd?"
Well, once upon a time, in fact up until recently, I was the girl who felt swallowed by the world around her. I started my freshman year of college optimistic that I would find my group of friends right away. That I would hit it off with everyone around me and would always have someone to go to lunch with.
Long story short, I was wrong. I had to learn how to be independent and start from scratch. I knew virtually no one at my small college, so if there was one positive, it's that I started with a clean slate. At first, I thought there was something wrong with me. It seemed as though everyone around me was making fast friends. That I was the only one, who needed a warming up period.
Of course, I was wrong. Many of the friends I have now (and I'm sure others) went through the same plight--full of self-doubt and worry. I am here to tell you that you are most certainly not the only one going through this.
Just because you don't have a group to go out with every Saturday or people to sit with for every single meal does not mean that there is anything wrong with you or your demeanor. It just means that you have not quite found your place yet.
But you will find your place. It might not be today. It may not be tomorrow; heck, it maybe won't even be next month or year. I learned that making true friendships takes time and rushing into friendships for the sake of having them will just lead to hurt--on both sides.
Just ride this wave of insecurity out. I know it's hard. I know it seems impossible, but your group of people is out there. And they are waiting to welcome you with open arms.
Take it from me; I'm at the start of my sophomore year of college, and I just found "my group" of people. It takes time. It takes work. But if you want quality friendships that will last beyond college you need to put effort into it. You get what you give when it comes to friendships.
Even though you feel alone right now, I guarantee that you will not always feel that way. Sometime in the near future, you may just join a club, class, or sport that has people that click with you. Explore a little--try new things out, and I guarantee that you will find your place and will no longer feel like a small fish in a big ocean walking around campus.
Sincerely,
The Girl That's Been There
