Body shaming. Fat shaming. Skinny shaming. Food shaming. Lifestyle shaming. Girl on girl shaming.
Why is there so much shaming and why is so much of it caused by one girl attacking another? I've found that some of the worst shaming comes from my fellow girls themselves. Not boys. Not parents. Not other family members or onlookers at the gym. Not the stranger watching me buy a dozen cookies and two cookie cakes at The Great American Cookie, but other girls my age. The only ones that are supposed to get me and understand what it's like to be a young woman in this day and age tear me down. Why is it that girls feel the need to stir up rumors about other girls (strangers, classmates, "friends") every time we feel like the spotlight is being taken away from us? Just because one girl has "better" hair or the "cutest" outfits or makes a better grade on a quiz, it doesn't lower your value. We as women need to build each other up and empower one another to be the best versions of ourselves. We should be giving each other confidence, not taking it away. When are girls going to start realizing this?
When are we going to get it through our pretty little heads that we don't have to pick each other apart to feel better about ourselves? In the end, all it does is tear down someone else and shine a negative light on yourself.
A few years ago (when crop tops were making a come back), I wore my converse, DIY high waisted jeans and black crop top (only showing a small sliver of my stomach) downtown with some friends. As we were walking down Main Street, a group of boys hung their heads out of their car's windows yelling and whistling at us (which is another rant for another day). To which my friend turned to me and said, "I bet that wouldn't have happened if you had been wearing more than half a shirt." In that second I felt all my confidence fade away. Have I worn that top since? Nope. Will I ever again wear it confidently? I can only hope so.
All it took was a few harsh words from one of my closest girlfriends to take away a huge piece of my self-confidence for a while. Why is it so easy to just give in and just tear someone down to boost your own self-esteem even for just a split second? But on the flip side, why do girls give in? Why do we give each other the power to take away the confidence we worked so hard to gain?
In the words of Candace Bushnell, who brought to us Carrie Bradshaw, "I'm not ashamed of anything I've done. Shame is a useless emotion."
