Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I always assumed women were on the same team. The only legitimate competition between us should be for the last bobby pin or whose phone battery needs the charger more. And yet, a group of pretty girls is sometimes more terrifying than a group of boys when I'm walking by them alone. I catch myself fluffing my hair, fixing my posture, and altering the way I walk. If I'm particularly nervous, I'll compare my outfit and make mental notes on what to change.

Some of that is a projection of my own insecurities onto reality. I grew up as one of the guys, not really finding quality gal pals until I hit middle school. A decade later, I still wonder if that shows. But I'm not delusional; I've definitely been on the receiving end of a few judgmental once-overs. My senior year of high school, I spent a week tracking down the source of a (totally unfounded) rumor that I was involved with someone else's boyfriend. It's not just a personal problem, either. I sent some messages to a few girls I love and asked them if they'd ever been a victim of girl-on-girl hate. Every single one of them had a story.

Maegan was labeled "fake" by a girl she knew, simply because they didn't get along. Malone was accused of trying to steal someone's boyfriend, when in reality, she was just trying to help a friend out of an unhealthy relationship. Lexy was betrayed when her friend of twelve years purposefully spread lies about her to total strangers. When Janet was in fourth grade, she was put through an initiation to join a friend group. In the end, the girls decided she was too ugly to join them anyways.

Jillian said she was publicly humiliated by a girl who used others' weaknesses to exemplify her own strengths. She also said this friend of hers was a victim of a lie girls everywhere tell themselves: that our self-worth is dependent on the worth we attribute to other girls.

It doesn't have to be exclusive, though. We don't need to step on each other to reach the top of the ladder (among other problems, we'd mess up our hair). No one personality or boob size controls and distributes beauty. It isn't ours to regulate. Beauty comes from above; we're all created in the image of a beautiful and wonderful Savior. We don't have to earn the right. It's something we keep in our hearts, something that shines out of us no matter what we look like or what shoes we're wearing. It's all about being the one who loves the most (that's another Jillian quote. Her response was fire).

Women are really great at defending our worth against attacks from sexist minds. There are plenty of movements protecting us from outside destruction, but that doesn't mean we can't be destroyed from inside. It's like being crossed by a double agent. And real talk; we create some of the stereotypes that we're fighting so desperately to shake off. Girls being catty, manipulative, and judgmental is unfortunately one of those. The good news is that it's all completely within our power to change that.

It's time to girl up and start building a support network for each other. No dead spots, no holes, no double agents. We'll never get anywhere if we don't travel there together. "This war is hard enough without infighting" -George Washington (in the Hamilton musical, of course).