Ever since I was a little kid I have loved being away from home. There’s just something about being in a new place, seeing new things, and meeting new people that I just really enjoy. As a younger kid I spent my summer weeks away at camp, winter breaks at my grandma’s house in Connecticut, and afternoons out playing soccer with my friends. I made friends easily and quickly and that didn’t change when I came to college.

When I first started applying to colleges, my main goal was one requirement: get out of Vermont. Four years ago I didn’t see anything special about my home state, I didn’t even find the leaves to be that beautiful or the small town charm to be charming. I wanted to get out. So I ended up at Endicott, a four-hour drive from home and I happily settled in. I didn’t feel homesick at all and I kind of baffled at those who did. I was just so happy to leave my tiny little state.

During my four years at Endicott, I really haven’t missed my home that much. I went abroad and loved it and didn’t want to return home and even at school I only go home on long breaks. And although I now find home to be beautiful and charming, I am happy this way.

I was kind of surprised the other week when all I wanted to do was go home and sit with my family, pet my dog, and lounge on the porch under the snow covered trees. I think this nostalgia for home comes in part with growing up. I only have about 11 weeks left until I graduate college and then I’ll be a real adult, one that should have a job and an apartment, bills, plumbing issues, the whole nine yards. And there’s something really scary about growing up that makes me want the comfort of home.

As lame as it sounds, I miss how easy being at home is. Even when I have been away for months, I fall into a natural routine when I am home again. Everything falls into place around me and I don’t have to think for a little while. But part of growing up is learning to think and grow into a real functioning member of society. And it is okay to feel a little afraid because even when I am older, with my own home and family, dog, and backyard fence, I know Vermont will still be there for me.