“Always sit with your legs crossed and keep your composure.” “Relax a little, girl, don’t be so uptight.” “You know, no one likes a crybaby. Get it together, girl.” “It’s really not cute when girls try to act tough.” “Don’t laugh too much.” “Do you ever laugh?” “Cover yourself up. No one wants a thot.” “Wear something a little sexier, no wonder you aren’t attracting anyone.” “You need to work out.” “Wow, are you starving yourself?” “If you go out too much, no one will like you.” “You never go out, how do you expect to meet people??”
Every girl has heard at least one of these phrases about how to conduct her own life. Way too many memes and posts circulate social media daily, offering so-called advice on what kind of girl to be, or the standards a girl ought to set for herself. I personally find this wanna-be-advice condescending and demeaning to girls, especially younger adolescents who are still trying to find themselves.
What is saddest about these contradicting remarks on “how to be a girl” is that they stifle a girl’s own unique personality in attempt to make every woman uniform. Apparently, society knows exactly how a girl should think, act, dress, what her goals and expectations should be in life, and even concerning personal things, like relationships and the traits she should find desirable in a partner. (Side note: No. One. Should dictate what you look for in a partner because at the end of the day, you are the one stuck in the situationship). And the crazy thing about all this is, there is no “normal” when it comes to being a girl, or simply being human.
I have never been a super-outgoing person, but the one thing I can never hide is my smile and my laugh because I find things amusing. I just love to laugh. Laughing, for me, is a way of expressing myself that comes naturally.
I did not think there was anything wrong with laughing or even that there was such a thing as “laughing too much” until middle and high school. I was criticized for being “too easily amused.” Apparently, people viewed this as a sign that I was either less intelligent, being fake, constantly throwing shade, being overly flirtatious, or a combination.
It should be obvious that this criticism is flawed. Of course, people are going to have different senses of humor. What tickles my funny bone, may not tickle yours and vice versa. But it is okay!
Initially, I thought I was the only one being criticized in this way and began to think that maybe something was wrong with me, until I talked to a friend. She had experienced the same thing! People kept telling her to stop laughing a lot because it is not cute and that she was giving guys the wrong impression, and things like that. In other words, she should quit being herself and stifle her own personality to fit the preference of others.
Then, plot twist, I had another friend tell me how much she experienced the exact opposite criticism. People do not appreciate the fact that she is not so easily amused. Those of you who suffer from RBF probably know the feels. So, can a girl ever win? Not by society's standards. This is why it is so important to be yourself, as cliché as it may sound.
We won’t be here forever, so laugh if you are want to laugh! (Or don’t if you’re not). Do not let others dictate the kind of girl you are.
Everyone has little quirks about them, some you may find weird because it is not your norm, it is theirs, and that is okay. Do not let the world tell you to be ashamed of who you are because those same “weird” things are what those who appreciate you will love most about you.
Appreciate your personality and don’t let anyone tell you that you laugh too much. Keep being you, keep being happy, and enjoy your womanhood in peace.
