The Girl Code is a list of rules that (supposedly) every female centered group of friends must follow. In it contains several "rules" that are weird and shouldn't really apply anymore, but the one I am going to focus on is the rule that states that your female friend should never, ever date your ex. This rule should be ripped out of the book, shredded, and burned.
Here's my thing: he's your ex. Ex everything; ex boyfriend, ex lover, ex best friend. That part of your life, the part where the two of you have influences in each other's lives, is over. So let him go. The two of you didn't work out, so it's time to move on to someone who you will work well with. Dwelling on what once was or what could have been benefits nobody.
"I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him either"
Nope. Sorry, but this does not exist in any logical reality. I do not know who exactly created the Girl Code and this absurd rule, but whoever did is incredibly selfish and this rule only promotes a selfish and self-centered demeanor, which is the exact opposite direction our society and we as individuals should be heading in.
Furthermore, for supporters of this particular rule, who are you to stand in the way of (potential) love? You have no hold on him anymore, and you really did not have a claim to him in the first place. If you think that the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend gives you a right to them, then you clearly shouldn't have been with them at all.
None of this is to say that seeing your ex with someone else won't hurt, especially if it is your friend or best friend. Yes, it will hurt. That happiness that is so plain as day between them is painful to see when you remember that that used to be you, or could have been you. But it is not. One or both of you fell out of love, and now it's time to move on. Maturity is wishing them happiness and love even if you don't currently have that in you.
I'm not saying that you can't feel those emotions that come with seeing your best friend with your ex: jealousy, envy, anger, sadness. All of these are what make us human. But to use those emotions to claim a right to someone who you 1) do not actually want to be in a relationship with, 2) want to be in a relationship with but the feeling is not reciprocated, or 3) don't want to be happy just because you won't be happy, is all just selfish and childish. You know you are being irrational and petty when you allow this Girl Code rule to escape your lips, and it needs to stop.
Yes, I am a female. Yes, my best friend wants to date my ex-boyfriend. And, yes it hurts a little because I know they will be happier together than we were. Everybody wants their first love to be "the one," but it doesn't always work out that way. I've moved on from my ex, but even if I hadn't, I would not prohibit my friends from being together. I am not allowing them to be together, either; he's not mine to give away and they absolutely do not need my permission.
It's time to throw this absurd Girl Code rule out, and we girls need to focus on being more supportive of one another. No love interest should ever come in between a friendship. If it is awkward, it's awkward. Are you really going to end an entire friendship because of a little awkwardness? My answer is no, and I hope that's your answer, too.
