To The Girl I Was A Year Ago, Don't Give Up

To The Girl I Was A Year Ago, Don't Give Up

You've got this.

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To the girl I was a year ago, I wanna say I am sorry.

For the longest time, I thought that the phrase "it will get better" was something that was supposed to happen in a heartbeat; it is not. Things looked rough, and I'm gonna be honest they still do, but that is fine. You are fine.

Looking back at the girl I was a year ago is hard, and frankly, it hurts. So many things could have been done differently. So many things could have been done to better me, my relationships and my friendships.

While the things I was doing I don't agree with now, I don't regret them.

A year ago I was in a relationship that was not healthy is anyway. To this day, that relationship has me waking up with nightmares. There were so many red flags that were missed. To the girl I was a year ago - you will make it out. There will be some hurdles to jump through after you left, but you did it. I am so proud of you.

Leaving that relationship is going to be one of the best, and toughest, things you have done. You will lose some friends, but the ones who see you through will be there tooth and nail.

Speaking of your friends, you need to realize how much they truly do love you. Through heartbreak, school stress and health problems they will be there. Please stop taking them for granted. The Clipper crew will be there, they want the best for you, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes.

To the girl I was a year ago, it will get better someday and you have that to look forward too. Don't give up just yet, and you will be amazed at the things you can do.

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To High School Seniors In Their Last Semester

Senior year moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
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Dammit, you made it. The final semester of your senior year. You’re at the top of the food chain of high school, and it feels so good. You’re probably praying this last semester flies by, that you get out of town as soon as possible.

At this point, you’re calling teachers by their first names, the entire staff knows you by name, and you’re walking around school standing tall, owning those hallways. You’re convinced you’re ready to leave and move on to the next chapter in your life.

You’ve already experienced your last football game, standing in the cold in the front row of the student section all season long, decked out in your school colors and cheering loud and proud. That is, until they lost, and you realized you will never have that experience again. Never again.

SEE ALSO: What I Wish I Knew As A Second-Semester High School Senior

You already had your last winter break. Preparing and celebrating the holidays with your family, ice skating and sledding with your best friends. Those quiet nights alone in your room watching Netflix, taking for granted your loved ones just a few rooms away. Never again.

If you’re an athlete, you may have already played in your last game or ran your last race. The crowd cheering, proudly wearing your school’s name across your chest, giving it your all. For some, it may be the end of your athletic career. Before you knew it, you were standing in an empty gym, staring up at the banners and thinking about the mark you left on your school, wondering where on earth the time went. Never again.

I’m telling you right now, you’re going to miss it all. Everything you’ve ever known. Those early mornings when you debate going to first hour because you really need those McDonald’s hash browns. The late nights driving home from practice, stopping for ice cream of course, ready for a late night of homework. Getting food on a whim with your friends. Endless fights with your siblings. Your favorite chips in the pantry. A fridge full of food. Coming home to and getting tackled by your dog. Driving around your hometown, passing the same sights you’ve seen every day for as long as you can remember. Hugs from your mom after a long day. Laughs with your dad. And that best friend of yours? You’re going to miss them more than anything. I’m telling you right now, nothing will ever be the same. Never again.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl That Enjoyed High School

Before you start packing your bags, slow down, take a deep breath, and look around. You’ve got it pretty good here. The end of your senior year can be the time of your life; it’s truly amazing. So go to the winter dance, go to Prom, spend Senior Skip Day with your classmates, go to every sporting event you can, while you still can. College is pretty great, but it’s the little things you’re gonna miss the most. Don’t take it for granted because soon, you’ll be standing in a packed gym in your cap and gown, wondering where the heck the time went. You’ve got a long, beautiful life ahead of you, full of joy but also full of challenges. You’re going to meet so many wonderful people, people who will treat you right and people who won’t.


So, take it all in. Be excited for the future and look forward to it, but be mindful of the present. You’ve got this.
Cover Image Credit: Hartford Courant

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PSA: It's OK To Be a Crybaby

"I hope you're as happy as your Instagram makes you look." - Josh Peck

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Why is it that every time I'm upset or feeling down, my initial reaction to the question "How are you?" is to lie and say "Great! I've never been better." I can't help but fear the possibility of looking vulnerable to a close friend who I know would be so comforting and supportive if I had answered truthfully.

We have been raised in a generation that is obsessed with showing everyone how GREAT we're doing and how we are just SO HAPPY, even though we're not. When in reality, it's impossible to be happy 24/7 - and we know this. I think I hold back from opening up to others because I fear the idea of people knowing our struggles and evidently seeing us as lesser people.

I'm probably the biggest culprit of this concept. I recently ended a serious relationship and have been feeling the most vulnerable I've ever felt. You'd think I would turn to my supportive friends and family for comfort, but my fear of "looking weak" or "killing the mood" has held me back. I've even gone as far as avoiding telling close friends about the breakup to ensure that my "flawless" image of my life remains.

Crying in my room, playing sad music and scrolling through my camera roll had become an embarrassing routine for me. In hiding my pain from close friends and family, I've only felt more alone and confused about my life.

After I finally gained the courage to admit that I have in fact cried a few times since the age of two, I feel much stronger for it. I've also found that many of my friends have been through similar experiences and that I am not the only one with problems. Overcoming my fear and opening up about my struggles has brought me so much closer to friends and to also help me understand them better. It's easy to assume that you're the only one struggling, but we can't possibly know what other people are going through, so why do we assume that we do?

In putting up a wall between myself and my friends and family, I tend to forget that we're human and it is OK to not be ok. I've gained much more respect for people who are honest, and confident enough to show their vulnerability in trying times. I believe it requires much more courage to show qualities that humanize us, rather than pretending to be perfect.

You probably won't see me venting to strangers, but I am a little more hesitant to answer a close friend's "how are you?" with "good!" and I think I'm OK with that.

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