The Girl Who Found Her Comfort In Guy Friends

Growing up, I really only had friends who were girls. I was terrified to speak to guys because I had been bullied more by them than females growing up, not to mention that somehow I was attracted to guys anyways. I thought they were some other crazy, untouchable, careless thing, so I stuck to hanging out with girls. I mean, I was a girl, so it only made sense and was expected, right?

Things with girls were a lot of fun, but there was a lot of emotion, conflict, and drama between them, and we all took part in these roles. It became exhausting and tiring on all of us, and with time, I realized I couldn't handle these things and slowly I drifted away from my closest girl friends, especially by the end of high school. This was also around the time I began to realize that guys weren't some strange creature, that they were a lot of fun, and I didn't have to care as much or worry as much around them. So by the end of high school, most of my girl friends and I had lost our closeness, and I was becoming closer with guys.

My freshman year of college was when I pretty much only had guy friends, and now, in my junior year, this holds even more true. I'd say I have only three actual girl friends--one who's at a college four hours away-- and a few "acquaintance" girl friends, but close and actual guy friends? Boy, I've got a list of them, and I hang out with guys probably 90% of the time I'm hanging out with anyone.

I'm the girl who found her comfort in guy friends.

What's better than kicking it back with the guys, doing stupid stuff, eating ungodly amounts of food and drinking too much beer? Learning more about video games and sports than you'd ever thought, going out and doing some wild shenanigans, being gross and messy together, without worrying what anyone thinks?

But what's also better than having relationship problems and seeking out your guy friends for advice? They give you the guy's perspective, because let's face it, maybe if you are a "bro" by now, you're still a female with a female body, mind, and emotions, so as much as you think you may know a guy's mind by now, no one knows better than a guy himself. Shoutout to my guy friends who let me be an annoying girl sometimes and let me vent about other guys, then offer me real, blunt, good advice.

Guy friends are more loyal than almost any girlfriend I've ever had. They tell it like it is, they don't sugarcoat things--they tell you the truth that you need to hear. They're also there to kick any person's ass who hurts you, especially if that person was a guy because they know what goes on in guy's heads, and they won't tolerate that. They're also there when you're hurting, as in they'll actually be there versus just calling or texting to check up, like most girls tend to do. They'll be there at 2 am when you need them. They'll slap some sense into you.

Having guy friends is a blessing, but it can have its drawbacks.

For example, relationships. Guys can get pretty protective or jealous of girls, whether as friends or being in a romantic relationship. Having a boyfriend can be difficult when you have a lot of guy friends because they may be constantly warning you that your guy friends have other motives, not fully trusting you to not get intimate with them, or just plain confused that a girl even has mostly guy friends (and that can off-put a boyfriend).

Another example: you can't relate to all aspects of guy life. You're a female with a female body and female expectations and female roles that have been ingrained to you since birth, so of course, many sensitive details and commonalities between guys you can't relate with, but it can often be a super entertaining and eye-opening conversation to experience when your guy friends get on some totally unrelatable subjects when you're a girl.

I couldn't be more thankful that most of my friends are guys, though.

Having guy friends has offered me a new perspective of life that I was missing out on growing up. I blend naturally with guys now, far far better than with girls. I feel a substance and connection between guys that I rarely feel between girls. There's a comfort in having mostly guy friends, a comfort that not many girls can relate to, just like I can't relate to finding comfort in mostly girlfriends.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have lady friends, too, but it doesn't feel natural to me, and it makes me rather uncomfortable being around a lot of women (or even just one). It makes me feel alienated, especially since I have interests that tend to be incredibly different from the average girl.

I don't like most girly and feminine things or girl interests in general.

For the past few years, friends (male and female) have joked that I'm basically a guy because of my lingo and interests, and of course, having mostly guy friends.

I say "dude", "man", and "bro" way more than should be socially acceptable. I don't wear make-up (maybe an occasional lipstick or mascara, but otherwise, I haven't used anything past that since sophomore year of high school) and honestly, I really don't see the point of makeup. I don't bother trying to spend most of my morning looking nice for the day. My hair either goes natural or bedhead or put up in a ponytail. I can get ready and out the door in less than ten minutes to start my day. I bite my nails, I don't mind if I don't shower for two days, my room and house is a mess because I don't really clean, do dishes, throw away trash, put up clothes, etc.

I don't like chick flicks or really anything romantic and gushy. I don't fantasize about marriage or kids or all the other usual things girls do. I rarely care about drama or gossip in general--especially the way girls do it and talk about it--, and I prefer deeper, more relaxing talk to the superficial talk most girls do. I don't dress like most girls do, especially sorority-esque girls who rep the personality of like 90% of girls around me. I dress more feminine most of the time, but my take on my style and how I carry myself are vastly different. I can look hella laid back one day, grunge-y another, girly on yet another, etc. etc. But I don't dress like the typical girl on the daily. I don't care about how I am presented in action, words, or appearance, and that vibe is noticed by girls and guys alike. It's something guys respect and girls judge and feel intimidated by. How I carry myself is a big part of why I get along way better with guys than with girls.

Because of who I am, what I'm interested in, and how I act, I find my comfort in guy friends, not girls. Everyone has that friend group that makes them feel at home, and I'm that girl who feels at home in her group of guy friends. And I couldn't be any more thankful and happier that that's the case.

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