I love makeup.
About two years ago, I got sucked into watching tutorials on YouTube and learned how to apply anything and everything from a smokey eye, to eyebrows, to a full face for prom. If I walk into a Sephora, it's virtually impossible to get me out of there because I get so consumed by everything. And without a doubt, I will walk out with my hands, wrists, and arms covered in swatches. It's inevitable. I have loved makeup for a while and I still do.
Unlike your fair share of people, I don't think that makeup is bad. I think it's absurd for people to assume that all women wear makeup in order to cover up their "flaws", or even worse, for the sole purpose of impressing men. In my opinion, makeup is a fun way to express yourself and your creativity, and I'll always back this claim.
However, makeup can be dangerous. When you reach a point where you look at your bare face and don't feel beautiful without makeup, that's the first sign that there may be a problem.
Personally, I found myself feeling this way a few weeks ago for the first time in a while. After a couple of years of getting used to feeling confident and invincible, I felt like I was back at square one. I would wake up, look in the mirror, and stare at that one zit on my chin, that weird clump of freckles on my left cheek, and my barely uneven eyebrows. Was it my makeup that did this to me, or was it my own problem?
It very well could have been both.
Once I had reached that point where I was finally confident in myself, with or without makeup, I assumed that I was "safe" from ever going back to that place of insecurity. Because of this, I pushed away all of the cliche "you're beautiful just the way you are!" pep talks because I was above that. I had myself figured out. Little did I know that the confidence that wearing makeup and being a mini beauty guru gave me became a clutch after a while. I had become too comfortable in identifying myself with makeup. And that's when that confidence crashed down.
So, where do I go from here? The number one advice I have for myself and for anyone else out there who feels a pit in their stomach when they look in the mirror is to let yourself be uncomfortable. Go a few days without makeup, and you'll soon realize that the world actually won't crumble to pieces just because you skipped your eyebrows that day and slept in a few extra minutes instead. I've done this since I came back to school, and I have not received a single comment about me wearing less makeup. If you get asked if you're tired or sick, so what? Just be honest and walk away. If you choose not to wear makeup every once in a while, or even to tone down how much you wear, what's the absolute worst thing that can happen?
Am I still going to wear makeup? Absolutely. Like I said before, makeup is fun. It still can be no matter what you're battling. But am I going to wear it every day? That's unlikely. While I love wearing makeup and trying new looks, learning how to feel comfortable in my "I woke up like this" glory is much more important in the long run.
