1:54 a.m.:
It's been a long day of classes. My English exam on the history and theory of rhetoric practically killed me. I can finally submit this week's photography assignment I have been slaving over onto our class blog. Now, to wind down and get ready for bed. Brush my hair; brush my teeth; and oh, yeah...take off my makeup. Yeah, I go through two remover cloths a night to wash away all of the "gunk" that has been resting on my face for some-teen hours. I guess you could say I live a "two-faced" life.
"Why do you bother?" "Couldn't you put that application time into something else?" "Are you just insecure?"
I probably get asked at least one question like this a day. Well, guess what? I am not sorry.
I don't do it for the Instagram likes. Those 10 double-taps will not make my day, nor break my day if I don't hit 30 by sundown. I don't do it for the girls. Trust me, ladies; I don't feel the need to make any of you feel inferior to me. I don't do it for the boys. I already have one to call my own who just happens to think I'm beautiful on the inside and out--with or without a full "face." I don't do it to cover up something I don't want seen by the public eye. I don't do it because I look prettier when I do...sometimes I look less pretty, but I get bored looking the same every day. I don't contour, but I don't feel as if makeup is used to hide. Rather, I feel it is used to enhance. I don't do it because I'm insecure with my face. I don't do it because I feel as if I was told to.
I went to class last week wearing barely any makeup--a rare sight that left people who know me in shock. Remarks I received:
"Are you feeling okay?" "You look tried." "Have you been studying all day?" "You look like you need a nap." "Are you tired?" "Did you sleep all right last night?"
I'm fine. No, I'm not tired or sick, I'm just not wearing makeup. Thanks for your concern.
I am a confident person to what I believe is a healthy extent. I am not cocky, by any means. Contrary to popular belief regarding makeup gurus, I am, in fact, very comfortable in my own no-foundation-applied skin. I simply strive to be the best version of myself that I can be. For me, that means appearance-wise, as well. I don't do it to be called "beautiful." I do it because it makes me feel beautiful. I do it because I see it as art--just art for my face. I do it because it makes me feel confident. I do it because I find it relaxing to put on, and fascinating in how it all works. I wear makeup simply because I like it. And I see nothing wrong with that.
Makeup or no makeup, my sole purpose is not to impress you. If anything, it is to impress myself. Wearing makeup makes me feel good about myself. Feeling good about myself makes me feel like I can take over the world.
So, no. I'm not sorry you think my smokey eyes are a little too much for a rainy Monday morning. I'm not sorry you think my red lips are trying a little too hard for a Thursday 2 p.m. class. I'm not sorry you think my winged eyeliner is a little too mainstream for your liking. However, I am sorry you don't feel comfortable enough in your own skin so you judge me for enhancing mine.
You see, if filling in my eyebrows or highlighting my cheekbones offends or bothers you in any way, sorry not sorry. I have too much to accomplish in my life to let you bring me down. Do what makes YOU happy and makes you feel BEAUTIFUL. And my dear ladies, guys, and everyone in between, don't you dare let anyone stop you.
