I have a confession. One that is very unpopular and could result in losing some friends. You ready for it? You sure? Here it goes...

I don't like dogs.

Wow, you're actually still reading this? You haven't screamed "How could you hate puppies?!" and slammed your laptop closed? Or are you frozen in shock by that statement and now you can't seem to move? Well whatever the case may be, I'm glad you're still reading. This is a sensitive topic and one that I'm glad I've finally gotten off my chest. To reward you for not disowning me immediately, I guess I should reveal some reasoning behind my particular stance on canines.

To put it simply, dogs just don't do it for me. Anything that is stinky, needy, and requires YOU, an enlightened, superior human being, to habitually pick up it's poop is not something that deserves praise. (And I know right now some of you are assuming that I must hate babies too because they essentially do the same things, but human babies and slobbering dogs are not the same, sorry!) I mean, come on, dogs drink out of toilets and then we let them lick our faces?! I might be missing something here, but seriously, how are these things considered cute and not gross?

I know what you're thinking. "She just doesn't get it because she never had a mutt to love and call her own!" Hate to break it to you, but your girl did have her own pooch. Santa even left it under the tree one magical Christmas morning. Riley the Dog was a bundle of spastic energy and ultimately was gifted away to the mailman by my parents when my mom became pregnant with my little brother.

Maybe I was scarred by this tragic experience and never allowed to properly bond with the furry four-legged creature and that's where my dog disliking issues stem from. I don't know, you can diagnose me all you want. I still know that dogs drink out of toilets.

It also should probably be noted that I'm allergic to man's so called "best friend." It's hard to like something that causes you to uncontrollably sneeze, wheeze, and pass out in a Benadryl coma. So excuse me if you think it's rude that I don't want to pet Fido. I'd just rather not be covered in itchy hives from giving him a belly rub.

Before I end this passionate rant, I want to acknowledge that I appreciate the fact that dogs do have the ability to do a lot of good as medical and therapy assistants. I have absolutely nothing against people who own these dogs, or against people who own dogs in general.

I know there's a reason that canines are the animal bestowed with the title of "man's best friend" after all. But for me, having a furry, slobbering creature just isn't in the cards. And that's okay! I accept you for being a dog lover. All I ask is that you accept me for being a dog dis-liker. Here's to hoping I haven't lost too many friends!

PS: No, I am NOT a cat person either. In fact, I'd take a dog over a cat any day. But that's a rant for another time!