To the girl who won’t break up with him,
This relationship is slowly killing you. Believe me, I have been there, and I know how difficult it is. You have so much history and you cannot imagine a life without him. But what you can’t see right now is that your relationship is toxic. It’s poisoning you.
Let me explain.
I once dated a guy who said like he loved me and had my best interests in heart, but it was all an act. I learned the hard way that what he really cared about was himself. I got him presents for Christmas and Valentine’s Day, and he wouldn’t get me anything. He would call me on the phone and talk about his problems all the time, but if I had something to say, he wouldn’t listen. He lied to me and became a source of constant grief in my life. He was poisonous, but I wouldn’t allow myself to acknowledge it. What I hoped would be a source of happiness for me became as deadly as arsenic in no time at all. The worst part is that I stayed. I wish I wouldn’t have.
At this point you are probably wondering why I stayed with him. Truthfully, I can say it was for no rational reason. We had been together for six months (which I thought was very long, at the time) and I didn’t want to give up on what we had. I didn’t want to tell myself that six months had been wasted, so I hung around, telling myself he would change, lying to myself that he had changed, and even lying to my friends about how he had changed. He didn’t change. The truth is, I lied to myself because I wanted him to be who I thought he was. I wanted him to love me.
You deserve so much better than that. Believe it or not, the world is just as full of good guys as it is of bad guys, and if you can rid yourself of the person who is poisoning you, you can find hope for your future. Being with him is keeping you from having a relationship with someone who would truly love you. The longer that you stay with him, the more scars he will be able to leave on your heart.
Whenever this guy finally broke up with me (something I should have done to him months ago), I was the one heartbroken. I felt like I had lost a piece of myself and I thought that I would never love again. Obviously, I was a little over-dramatic, but when I think of how I could have saved myself so much heartache by ending things earlier, I just want to slap myself.
That’s why I’m writing this letter. Learn to love yourself so much that you don’t need the validation of a poisonous guy to keep you from falling apart. Respect yourself enough to know that you deserve someone who will love you unselfishly and for who you are. I found that. You can too.
From,
The girl who is never going back
