Some might call it being the “mom” friend or the “yes” girl, but it’s not always that simple. Being the girl who does it all and asks for nothing in return is more than just carrying a purse reminiscent of Mary Poppins’ carpet bag or always saying yes to late night food runs. For me, it comes from lack of a dependable childhood friend, or any friends really. Simply put, I became the friend that I desperately wanted for years. I learned a lot about being a friend when I myself was alone. Although I’m fully aware that I don’t ask for anything in return and that’s my fault, however, I know that I’m not the only one who suffers from being insanely dependable.
In a work environment, you're always picking up shifts, but when the roles are reversed, you struggle to get your shifts covered.
This is what I call a working girl’s version of the saying “Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” At work, you’re the person who’s always offering to take your coworker’s shifts, but when you need one of your shifts covered, not a single person offers *crickets chirp*. Of course, you don’t mind being someone that your coworkers can depend on, but you wish that there was someone that you could depend on too.
When it comes to family, you’re the shoulder everyone leans on.
No matter how far away you are, you still somehow end up being involved in the family conflict. Whether it’s your sibling calling to complain about your parents or vice versa, you always lend a listening ear.
Even though sometimes you just want to say that it’s not your place to get involved, you give your input when needed. Despite the fact that sometimes it feels as if people have forgotten that you too have a life of your own, you often choose not to share it because you don’t want to be a burden on someone else.
With your significant other, you’re the first person they call to ask for advice.
While I absolutely love being able to be there for my boyfriend, it is hard knowing that when I need someone to go to, all he can do is listen. I absolutely adore my boyfriend, but when it comes to needing advice, he is by no means my first choice. While some guys are awesome at giving advice, he’s very simple when it comes to solving problems -- if there’s a problem, fix it.
He also grew up having older siblings, so he’s very unfamiliar with conflicts between siblings. Despite the fact that any time he has a problem with his friends, he knows that I’m only one phone call away, I know that all he can be for me is a listening ear (which he’s great at).
No matter how ridiculous it might seem, your friends know that you’re always there just in case they need you.
No matter what time of day it is, your friends know that they can depend on you to be there for them in the event that they need you. Whether it be being the designated driver or just walking to their car that’s a mile away in the freshman lot, they know that if they need you, you’ll come without question. While this role can be exhausting, you wouldn’t trade it for the world because deep down it feels so good to be needed. If your best friend is having issues with f*ckboys, she knows that all she has to do is text you a gif and you’ll respond within seconds (even if it’s 3 a.m.)
To tell you the unfiltered truth, being the girl who does it all and asks for nothing in return is hard. Sometimes you question if it’s worth caring this much when you yourself have nobody to go to. However, if you are this person, you should know that you’re not alone and that you are appreciated. So continue being the coworker who takes every called-off shift, keep answering every phone call from your mom, listen to your significant-other ramble on about how his friends canceled on him yet again, and don’t stop doing little favors for your friends.
The truth is, the world needs more of those who do good and ask for nothing in return. While doing small favors for your friends or answering your mom's calls don’t seem very impactful, the little things can be. If you didn’t do it all, then who would? Of course, there’s always the possibility that someone else would fill the void, but who’s to say so? Think about the friend that you wish you had when you were all alone. Would you really want someone to feel alone like that? Although sometimes you wish that someone was there to listen to you, you still don’t regret being there for everyone, because you know that everyone needs a someone like you.
