20 Basic Things Every Young Woman Should Know How To Do By Her 20th Birthday

20 Basic Things Every Young Woman Should Know How To Do By Her 20th Birthday

Cheers to 20.

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School teaches you some really important things that make you grow intellectually: English, History, Science, Math, etc and the importance of physical education, as well as the basics of health issues. But one thing that school doesn't really teach us, is how to do some basic everyday life skills.

We parade through our teenage years with absolutely no idea what we're doing. Fake it till you make it. Even when we turn eighteen, as legal adults, we can still kind of get away with going through life without much regard for ourselves or our surroundings.

So, in honor of me turning twenty this year, a list of some basic things every young woman should know how to do by her twentieth birthday.

1. Make at least one item/meal that your super good at

eggs

Any meal, eggs and bacon, mac & cheese (or another simple pasta dish), just something that you can do for yourself instead of relying on takeout or microwave meals all the time.

2. Do laundry or fold clothes

You're too old to be having your mom still doing it for you.

3. Basic first aid

first aid

Everyone should know basic first aid, because it's so, so important. Sometimes help doesn't arrive in time. You don't need to be at the same level as a doctor, but you should know how to take care of yourself or a friend.

4. Setting a budget 

wallet

And sticking to/keeping it.

5. How to properly do makeup

Whether its a "natural" look that you're going for or a more dressy/formal kind of look.

6. How to dress for any occasion

The Huffington Post breaks down everything you need to know to translate the dress code on the invitation.

7. Be able to admit when you've made a mistake

wrong

Because nothing is more important that admitting when you're wrong.

8.  Accept a compliment

And how to give one, if it applies to the situation.

9. How to walk away from toxicity 

walk away

Relationships, friendships, anything. And how to do so gracefully.

10. Say no

And saying it nicely or in a way that doesn't upset anyone too much.

11. Basic sewing skills

sewing kit

Even if it's not perfect stitch and a little messy.

12. Let go of old grudges

Whether they are ones you have had since high school or more recent.

13. Write a killer resume

Complete with coordinating fonts and your many accomplishments. And on that note, this doesn't just apply to women either.

14. Give someone a genuine apology

And doing it gracefully.

15. How to find items in a grocery store

list

This includes buying the right ingredients for dinner and also buying the things you actually need whilst also keeping your shopping list in your head and knowing exactly what you need to refill or replace.

16. Walking in heels

heels

Not knowing how was only cute at high school dances.

17. Own up to your mistakes

It's official, you can't blame everything on the cat (or your younger sibling) anymore.

18. Make small talk

The more you do it the easier it will get.

19.  Tell someone how you really feel

talking

Like in a straight up, no BS kind of way. We're not in high school anymore.

20. Last but not least, be able to let go of the small things

Because sometimes it's just too exhausting to start World War III over the shirt your sister borrowed without asking.

Try to make the most out of your final months as a teenager.

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To High School Seniors In Their Last Semester

Senior year moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
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Dammit, you made it. The final semester of your senior year. You’re at the top of the food chain of high school, and it feels so good. You’re probably praying this last semester flies by, that you get out of town as soon as possible.

At this point, you’re calling teachers by their first names, the entire staff knows you by name, and you’re walking around school standing tall, owning those hallways. You’re convinced you’re ready to leave and move on to the next chapter in your life.

You’ve already experienced your last football game, standing in the cold in the front row of the student section all season long, decked out in your school colors and cheering loud and proud. That is, until they lost, and you realized you will never have that experience again. Never again.

SEE ALSO: What I Wish I Knew As A Second-Semester High School Senior

You already had your last winter break. Preparing and celebrating the holidays with your family, ice skating and sledding with your best friends. Those quiet nights alone in your room watching Netflix, taking for granted your loved ones just a few rooms away. Never again.

If you’re an athlete, you may have already played in your last game or ran your last race. The crowd cheering, proudly wearing your school’s name across your chest, giving it your all. For some, it may be the end of your athletic career. Before you knew it, you were standing in an empty gym, staring up at the banners and thinking about the mark you left on your school, wondering where on earth the time went. Never again.

I’m telling you right now, you’re going to miss it all. Everything you’ve ever known. Those early mornings when you debate going to first hour because you really need those McDonald’s hash browns. The late nights driving home from practice, stopping for ice cream of course, ready for a late night of homework. Getting food on a whim with your friends. Endless fights with your siblings. Your favorite chips in the pantry. A fridge full of food. Coming home to and getting tackled by your dog. Driving around your hometown, passing the same sights you’ve seen every day for as long as you can remember. Hugs from your mom after a long day. Laughs with your dad. And that best friend of yours? You’re going to miss them more than anything. I’m telling you right now, nothing will ever be the same. Never again.

SEE ALSO: I'm The Girl That Enjoyed High School

Before you start packing your bags, slow down, take a deep breath, and look around. You’ve got it pretty good here. The end of your senior year can be the time of your life; it’s truly amazing. So go to the winter dance, go to Prom, spend Senior Skip Day with your classmates, go to every sporting event you can, while you still can. College is pretty great, but it’s the little things you’re gonna miss the most. Don’t take it for granted because soon, you’ll be standing in a packed gym in your cap and gown, wondering where the heck the time went. You’ve got a long, beautiful life ahead of you, full of joy but also full of challenges. You’re going to meet so many wonderful people, people who will treat you right and people who won’t.


So, take it all in. Be excited for the future and look forward to it, but be mindful of the present. You’ve got this.
Cover Image Credit: Hartford Courant

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A Little Glimpse Into What It's Like To Grieve In Your 20s

Debunking the stigma behind grief in the everyday young adult

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A few days before last semester my little brother, Ethan, took his life. After years of him struggling to find his place in the world, he put his troubles and sorrows to rest. I had just moved into my sorority house to begin my Junior year, and a few days later I awakened late at night with several missed calls and messages. My dad texted me saying, "Ethan passed away Blair, dad is so sorry." When I first read the text, I had to keep reminding myself that it was real. Shortly after receiving that, my parents and family friends came to bring me home from school.

The next few days were filled with a roller coaster of emotions. I was reuniting with old friends and community members for days on end while we were all trying to understand the immense pain that my brother had felt. Soon, I went back to school because I knew that even in times of tragedy, life goes on. Above all else, I knew it's what my brother would have wanted. Being back at school is/was interesting. I felt like I was being judged by everyone for returning to school so early. I was in no way ready to discuss my family's recent tragedy, and I am still not ready to discuss it, yet people insist on asking for information regarding my brother's death. Despite this, the people around me continuously promised to support me when I was feeling sad or hopeless. The weeks after Ethan's death had me in a complete fog, making it hard to focus even to this day.

Fortunately, not many people have to deal with the death of a sibling at such a young age. Subsequently, many are not sure how to handle such a thing. I am often at a loss for words for what this experience feels like. Often times I feel bad that people don't know how to respond to me. Grief is something I would never wish upon someone.

Even on the days I feel alone, I know that there are people here to support me.

It means the world to me when people reach out and ask how I am doing, or to meet up with me for something as simple as ice cream. I appreciate this more than one knows.

On top of dealing with my brother's death I was dealing with rejection from a boy for the first time. Rejection of any kind is difficult, and is something everyone experiences in their life. Although I have felt rejection in many forms, especially being an aspiring actress, this was the first from a potential suiter. The loss of any friendship has been so hard after losing my brother. It has been hard to process other aspects of my life, and especially the crazy life of dating and being a 20-year-old in college. Moving on, and separating my grief from that rejection has been no easy feat.

As my semester was coming to a close, I ran into the boy I was interested in at a holiday party. This time of year had proven to be hard for me when I thought of the happy times spent with my brother during the holidays. That night was the first time I was unable to compose myself and put my best face forward being the actress I am. I couldn't hide my emotions anymore and I was overcome with grief. I had hit rock bottom. This journey has consisted of immeasurable self-doubt and soul searching.

Soon after the holiday party, I was told by someone who has been an authoritative figure to me, that "I was grieving weirdly" and that I "should go home for the rest of semester and take an incomplete". There were only two weeks left of the semester and my grades were great. I was so deeply offended by this notion, and that they had the audacity to judge the way I was grieving. I have been trying my best, and that is all that I can do. Despite this toxic conversation, I finished out the semester strong and took my well-deserved three-week break. My break was filled with much needed respite, creative inspiration, and time to collect my thoughts.

Coming back to school, I had an open conversation with my community on the reasonable steps they could take to support me in my journey for the rest of the school year. All someone that is grieving asks, is for you to sympathize with them. Thankfully, it was received well and I look forward to my upcoming semester.

There is often a stigma behind people who are actively grieving. Yes, I am going through a lot, yes, I am sad. But that doesn't mean I am incapable of loving life and experiencing things going on around me at school or in my life. This especially includes dating. I have learned that it is okay to embrace my feelings and express them in whatever way I deem fit. Grieving the loss of my brother has also made me stronger than ever. I can handle anything and I am ready to make my impact on the world.

Everyone experiences pain, struggle, grief, etc. What matters most, is how they come out of it. I want to continue the message of kindness. I am so grateful for my newfound bravery and at the end of the day, I will always miss my brother's unique perspective and outstanding sense of humor. If he were here today, first he'd probably roast me and then I know he would only want the best for me. In the end I plan to live my happiest life.

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