Add these to your Christmas list or get them for your loved one!
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Let's be honest. College is the best time of your life for a lot of reasons, and maybe you should not tell your mom all of them when she calls. I can almost guarantee that you have used at least five of these, and the others — maybe you should try next time!
1. "I can't talk now, I'm in the library."
Typically used when the student is too hungover to talk.
2. "Gotta go now, I'm walking into class."
Then hit play on Netflix.
3. "I think it might be food poisoning."
Was it the food, or all of that alcohol? Your symptoms sound more like a hangover to me.
4. "No, I didn't just wake up."
It is 4 p.m. and, yes, you did.
5. "I need more money for laundry and food."
Meaning, "I need more money for things I don't think you will give me money for."
6. "I never skip class!"
When we use this one, it usually does not refer to anything before 11 a.m.
7. "I studied all night for that test!"
If by "studied all night" you mean you watched TV shows in the library, then, yes, all night.
8. "Everyone failed that test."
And by everyone, I mean me and my friend who did not go to sleep until 3 a.m.
9. "I'm walking home from breakfast with my friends."
Yeah, OK. You are just lucky she cannot see last night's outfit and the high heels you are carrying. We know where you have been.
10. "Potbelly's is a restaurant."
I mean, they may sell tacos, but I'm not sure I would call it a restaurant.
11. "I go to Cantina's for the Nachos."
I hope that is not the only reason but, hey, you do you.
12. "The $40 charge on the card from last Saturday? That was for school supplies!"
Yeah, right. It was for a new dress.
13. "Nobody goes out on weeknights, especially not me."
We all know grades come first, right?
14. "I can't remember the last time I went out!"
15. "I make my bed regularly"
About as often as I clean the bathroom.
16. "I did not say 'Margarita Monday,' I said I went to 'Margaret's on Monday'!"
Following the use of this lie, do not post any pictures on social media of you with a margarita.
17. "I use my meal plan, and eat in the dining hall all the time."
As you scarf down Chick-fil-A.
18. "I eat healthy!"
For those without a meal plan who have to grocery shop on their own, we all know you spend $2 on a 12-pack of Ramen noodles and the rest on a different kind of 12-pack.
19. "No, I don't have a fake ID."
OK, "John Smith," and where exactly in Wyoming are you from?
20. "I'm doing great in all of my classes."
We use this one because you cannot see our grades online, anymore.
21. "I did not wait until the last minute to start on this."
We all know that if you start a paper before 10 p.m. the night before it is due, you are doing something wrong.
Thank you for your time.
This is a series that I have dedicated to those I have loved and lost. It was merely a thought, then an idea, and now a realized creation. Christmas time… all winter really is a hard time for me. It holds this duality in my life of being both my favorite and also my least favorite and difficult time of year. It has been that way for years now.
In a way, this series aids my closure and healing further, and it allows me to tell my story in a way that, to me, is less scary (one of the many great facets of this platform). It was never my intention to write this in order to reach people, or encourage people, or serve as an inspiration to anyone. This was for me and only me. No one else. But, if these pieces of writing do impact someone, somewhere, or make them feel encouraged or inspired in some way or another, or just simply make them feel, then I hope you have enjoyed them. If I can make someone feel, then I guess I have done my job.
The life of an artist is often an uncertain one. The life of a human is a trying one. But life is a journey, and all journeys have their trials. Their tests. Their triumphs and rewards. And they all have their losses. What matters most is what you make of all of it. What lessons you learn. What changes you make. What life you create for yourself. What art you create because of it all. It can be very, very hard. But it can all be glorious at the same time.
At the heart of this series, my words, there is this deep and valuable belief of mine: Christmas (or the Winter Holiday that you may celebrate) is so much more about presents and cooking and shopping and all that other bullshit… it is about family.
The family that is related by blood. The family that surrounds your heart. Your Mom. Your brother. Your dearest friends. The bonds that make life valuable. Worth living. These bonds are soulful bonds, ones that are far more special than any mere trivial object. So… be with them. Forgive. Forget. Heal. Mend what is broken. Reassemble what has been shattered. And stop worrying so much. Laugh together. Cry together. Heal on another. Heal together. And may your new days be better, brighter, and full of love.
A song for you...
If you liked this series, I invite you to check out my previous article below…
As well as this article by a fellow creator…