Christmas is right around the corner, which means it's time to start buying gifts. Portal is a successful and innovative puzzle game involving the use of, you guessed it, portals, to escape the bowels of a failed scientific institution. These gifts are perfect for any Portal lover, whether it be a friend, family member, or yourself. If that isn't enough to keep you reading, then let me sweeten the deal. If you make it to the end of this list, you'll get a deliciously moist cake.
1. Long Fall Socks
This fancy footwear is modeled after Aperture Science's Long Fall Boots. Although they don't actually prevent the wearer from not falling on their head, these socks are indubitably stylish. Try pairing them with a stylish orange jumpsuit for a look that screams "test me until I perish." You can purchase the Long Fall Socks from JINX for $11.99. They are also available on Amazon for a range of different prizes.
2. DIY Companion Cube
Who wouldn't want their very own Companion Cube that can sing them to sleep? This idea is perfect for those more artistically inclined, but simple enough that anyone can do it. All you need is a cubic speaker, foam, and paint. I've tried this one out for myself and it turned out super cool. The YouTube Channel NerdyandQuirky takes you through step by step and the end result lives up to the name; it is a truly nerdy and quirky gift that any Portal fan would love to have. Here's the tutorial:
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3. Portal: The Uncooperative Cake Acquisition Game
Yes, you can become a test subject in this gem of a board game. I haven't played it myself, but the reviews trend towards the positive. The biggest complaint seems to be with some of the pieces. Other than that, Portal fans seem to be enjoying it. The game was designed by the Valve staff, which is always an awesome bonus for fans. However, it is the priciest item on the list. You can get the game from Cryptozoic for $50.4. Aperture Science Mug
A good test subject eats, breathes, and sweats science. Now you can drink science, too. Well, you can drink any beverage of your choosing from this sleek looking Aperture Science mug. There is a plethora of Portal themed mugs out there, but the simple design of this one always catches my eye. You can purchase it or $19.99 from Merchoid. If you aren't exactly a fan of subtle, you could check out this alternative.
5. Wheatley Sticker
If you're anything like me, then the best part about Portal Two was your trusty sidekick and most wicked adversary, Wheatley. In the very beginning of Portal Two when you meet this lovable moron, he tells you that you've been in suspension for a lot longer than a few months. He does his best to offer some comfort, but it just doesn't come off quite right. "...it's not out of the question that you might have a veryminor case of serious brain damage! But don't be alarmed, all right? Uh, although if you do feel alarmed, try to hold on to that feeling because that is the proper reaction to being told that you've got brain damage." Now you can have your very own sticker to commemorate his failed attempt at human interaction. You can get it, as well as a bunch of other Portal themed stickers, at Red Bubble.
6. Wheatley Flashlight
Don't think a sticker is enough to prove your Wheatley love? If so, then this flashlight is for you. The product description from the ThinkGeek website sums up this gift perfectly: Wheatley may be a bit dim, but his flashlight is bright! I couldn't agree more. $49.99 is expensive, but for my own little Wheatley, I'd say it's worth it.
7. When Life Gives You Lemons Prank Gift
Okay, this is going to take some planning, but it would be 100% worth it. First, purchase some lemons, and wrap than up like a normal gift. Next, make a label that says To: [Insert Recipient's Name Here], From: Life. Get it? When life gives you lemons? If they are a true Portal fan, they will make life take the lemons back. They'll get mad! They'll say "I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these?" and so on. Then, after they have invented a combustible lemon that burns your house down, present them with this awesome print (available in small or medium) of Cave Johnson's unforgettable quote. Well, maybe don't wait until they burn your house down, but you get the idea.
8. The Cake is a Lie Prank Gift
This is another elaborate ruse, but is sure to please a Portal fan. First, you have to bake the cake. It is based on a black forest cake, so any recipe of that nature would do. You could probably get away with just doing a regular ol' chocolate cake. In case you're going for an exact game look-alike, here's a recipe that seems to fit the bill. For the prank element, you can take several routes. The easiest would be to wrap an empty cake mix box. If you're feeling a bit more creative, you could decorate a box with a sticker similar to the one seen on this door right before you battle GLaDOS in Portal 2. After the recipient opens either box only to discover it is empty, you can then reveal that the cake is actually not a lie.