For those of you who don’t know what ghosting is, consider yourself lucky. Ghosting, actually has nothing to do with ghosts or paranormal activity, but something almost scarier. Ghosting refers to when you have been talking with someone you haven’t met in person yet, and when you do actually go to meet, they ditch. Ghosting can also refer to when someone you have been talking to just all of a sudden stops talking to you with nothing being said from them. It literally seems like they became a ghost. They don’t reply to any messages, they don’t answer your calls, they might even block your number, they blatantly drop you like a disease. This has recently happened to me more than once and these are the thoughts I had running through my mind during those moments.
I thought you were genuine.
Just when I thought I may have found someone genuine and also seemed liked they were highly interested in me like I was with them, I was wrong. I have learned to not assume the best of people until proven otherwise. I was lead on to believe that you had the same interest in me. I have a hard time finding genuine people out there and this is why I have a hard time trusting people because you proved to me you were far from geniune.
I shouldn’t have got my hopes up.
I shouldn’t have thought the best was going to happen. I do it to myself. I get invested in people way to easily and partially blame myself for that. I wish I was someone who could just forget about someone but when I have talked to them so much it is hard to let them go. I wish I didn’t open up so much to you and invest my time if I knew you were going to simply disappear.
This is a prime reason why I don’t try in dating.
I often have found myself giving up on finding someone because the people I do find, give up on me or lose interest like no other. I see the best of people which also gets the best of me. Moments like these are ones that make me feel like I really don't need anyone in my life because I'm stronger than that, but then I lay in bed at night and get lonely. It's a vicious cycle.
Maybe it’s me.
I can’t help but to think it was me. I obviously must have done something wrong for you to completely ditch me. I am now racing through my mind trying to figure out what I could’ve done to make you just disappear. It definitely has to be me at this point.
I feel worthless, foolish, and unwanted.
I have felt these emotions before in my life, but being ghosted leaves you feeling these even more. I had that high of when I thought you actually were feeling me the way I was feeling you, but just kidding, I was wrong again. I felt worthless, upset, confused, foolish, dumb, ignorant, alone, and many, many more things.
They obviously weren’t worth my time.
Despite all of these thoughts about me going through my mind and how I was hating myself just as much as them, it wasn’t all bad thoughts. Thanks to this happening more than it should to myself, it has taught me to take everything with a grain of salt and to not get too attached to people. I still let myself get attached to people which is just who I am, but it has definitely taught me to be more careful. I’m glad they are no longer a part of my life so I don’t have to invest any more in them that I have already. I have moved on, but not as fast as you did from me. Ghosting can blow, but it does show you who really is interested in you, which apparently is hard to tell these days. Like honestly, don’t waste my time because it’s super valuable. Thanks.