Urban dictionary defines ghosting as:
"Ghosting"
The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject's maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.
I am probably not the first to admit that I am a sucker for ghosting someone. Or everyone I become interested in, to be honest. Many times I begin texting, hanging out, or dating someone for a period of time and suddenly drop all communication with them without an explanation. No, I am not doing this just for the excitement of hurting someone's feelings or for the satisfaction of saying I had them. For one, I consider myself to be a very outspoken, straightforward person and yet, I have ghosted. Truly there are many reasons why I simply flee the relationship.
1. Fear of striking out
I think one of the biggest reasons I run from many potential relationships without any sight of closure is feeling like I may end up not being good enough. That this person could potentially do better than me or one day wake up and ghost me first. It's almost like I'm giving them a chance to run to home base and stealing the base before they steal it from me.
2. Awful with confrontation
Truly I just suck at feelings. I suck at explaining my emotions to anyone, certainly someone I like. If someone upsets me, I just stay angry and bitter to myself until I'm over it. I have a hard time telling people they've let me down, hurt my feelings, or make me feel a certain way. So once I begin to realize there aren't as many feelings coming from my side of the court and the person I'm dating, I get awkward and am unsure how to break it to them nicely.
3. I've been ghosted myself
You see love is a game these days and if you aren't ten feet ahead, you may end up fifty feet behind. Sometimes we learn habits through things we've experienced. Sometimes ghosting someone is just all you've ever known and you know no other way to end something.
4. Fear of the outcome
There have been many times I was simply too afraid to let a person know I wasn't interested anymore. Fear that they may lash out at me or about me to everyone. Afraid they may make up some rumor or even get violent. On the other hand, I've been afraid of them getting upset that after all their effort, I just wasn't interesting anymore after giving it a chance. I have even had the fear of losing a great friendship by letting them know I wasn't the one for them.
You see, ghosting is never the fun way to be let down. Although, I do wish that people understood that this so-called modern day protocol of breaking things off isn't always just to hurt the opposing person.
