You’ve heard the uncanny phenomenon right? You’ve heard those people who can make a room wild with commotion stop as if nothing had been happening in the first place. As if nothing had even existed before this person opened their mouth. At a simple social gathering when a particular individual arrives, at a large function when the orator takes the stage, and every possible venue in between. You’ve heard it.

You’ve heard it perhaps when you least expected it, huh? When you weren’t intending to be captivated by the method with which a speaker embellished his or her words exactly as your mind needed to hear them. You weren’t expecting to stumble across something unforgettable, yet that phrase, exactly the way they said it, is etched into your head.

You could copy the expression not only word for word but also pitch for pitch, repeating the sounds that framed the words as if you were singing a few bars from your favorite song. But you might still follow the repetition with a bashful chuckle and the well-known line, “Well, I can’t say it like they can.”

That’s true. You can’t. It’s their cadence, not yours. But you have one of your own, and I am here to shout it out loud and clear that it is one of the most powerful personal elements you can wield.

Your personal cadence is the structure of your speech; it is not just the sound but also the style of your voice. If and where it goes up, if and where it goes down, does it have lilting qualities or more rigid rhythms, etc? In a more abstract sense, your cadence is the connection between what you want to say and the impact it will have on others. Anything from some profound personal statement to a joke that fits into the current conversation can be changed by the way you present it, the way that you color your voice.

When you pay attention to the sounds that are coming out of your mouth in your daily interactions and make a conscious effort to shape them more fluidly, you can say something, mean something, and have that meaning be actually felt by the listeners you gain. It may seem a bit silly, focusing on the sounds behind the words you speak, but it is what makes the difference between fighting to be heard with forced speech and commanding attention with only a few simple words.

Of course, as with any wieldable item, practice will be required to learn how to handle it. At first, when you sit down to adjust your cadence and find working with it to be as awkward as middle schoolers at a dance, you might be inclined to stop speaking altogether. Nonverbal kryptonite in the form of “um” and the like will be in constant conflict with your sanity, especially when your brain is bombarded by five trains of thought all trying to pull into the same station simultaneously. You’ll speak too fast and then too slow, trying to incorporate the impactful speaking techniques you’ve heard from others and failing because….well, they aren’t you.

Stop. Breathe deeply. Speak slowly. Almost too slowly. Replace every nonverbal with a pause until you’ve trained yourself out of the habit of using them. Then increase the pacing. Or don’t. Try out different methods of delivering your daily conversations as a simple mental practice. See what intrigues listeners, what causes their face to change as an indication of a change in emotion. What part of your speech influences others is something you’ll get to find out.

By playing with the sounds of your own voice, you can forge a basis of control over it that will strengthen your speech, your confidence in expression of ideas, and your daily interactions even with strangers. You might find yourself with boosted courage in public settings, enough to tell a stranger you like their shirt and make their day without even realizing. When you practice and can conduct your voice thoroughly, you will be better able to voice your opinions and take part in the world around you.

It just takes a little practice. A little time. A little patience. It just takes a little before you realize what a treasure your voice really is. And that the whole world is ready and waiting to hear your sound.