As we progress through our college careers, we experience the wonderful (I use that word very loosely) world of dating in one way or another. Unfortunately, heartbreak and even hitting rock bottom tends to occur within this juncture of our lives. While we sometimes find ourselves resigned to the blackened abyss of our minds after the demise of a particularly toxic relationship, the fact of the matter is simple: it gets better.
I hit rock bottom three days before Christmas in 2015. At the time I was engaged to someone who showed very little support for my future prospects, who would constantly mock and belittle me, though I was too blind to realize it and instead opted to dismiss this behavior as typical bossiness. That and a bevy of financial woes were beginning to creep forth into our relationship. We were arguing explosively over even the smallest of things. On this particular night, after one argument and a few drinks too many, I found out that my now-former fiancée was having an affair with the person I had handpicked to be best man at our wedding. To say the least, I was a mess and the "getting over it part" was about to begin.
Less than a day after all this went down, I had left my job (where my ex-fiancée also worked), been taken to a doctor, and was on a van to Wisconsin to visit with my stepfather's family over Christmas. Celebration was the last thing on my mind as my ex decided to barrage my phone with incessant messages and attempt to falsely paint me as an abuser in order to justify her affair. I made the conscious decision not to let her dictate my thoughts the moment I walked into the doors of my step-grandfather's house where I was greeted with hugs, food, and a delicious beer from a local microbrewery. My family saved my Christmas and quite possibly my life.
Upon returning from Wisconsin, I immediately thought self-improvement should be at the forefront given that I had a new semester on the horizon. I first sought professional help and began a medication regimen to help me deal with some of the residual ugly thoughts that were still on my mind. Then came finding work, which was accomplished rather quickly thanks to a darling set of references. I was starting to feel cool, confident, and "in control." After a few months and a few very brief, misfired relationships I had transferred to the English department at Oklahoma State and begun a relationship with someone who has brought me a level of peace unlike anything I had thought possible. I'm doing what I love in the company of people whom I love. Things have a way of working out.
Life will throw you curveballs more often than you'd like. When faced with these proverbial downward spins, remember that it is always okay to have a good cry and that there is absolutely no shame in seeking help whether it be from professionals or those in your immediate circle. Brush the muck off and do whatever you feel is necessary to reach a place of positivity. It gets better.
