Getting Married Is NOT An Accomplishment, Stop Acting Like It Is

Getting Married Is NOT An Accomplishment, Stop Acting Like It Is

The accomplishment lies in truly committing to a marriage and lovingly supporting another person through their life.

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I am at the point in my life in which friends are getting married and having kids. It's exciting to witness the changes in their lives. I truly believe getting married is one of the most brilliant and wonderful things you can do, and people who get married definitely need support. We aren't meant to be in marriage alone. We need to be really careful about how we approach marriage, though.

Sometimes people praise those who are getting married like they've accomplished this major life goal.

Sometimes people care more about my friends' relationships than educational and career achievements. In the Midwest especially, there's a somewhat of a culture in which something must be wrong with you if you're not married by a certain age. There's nothing wrong with you if you're not married at some point in your early or mid-twenties.

Getting married gives you some sort of social capital or status. I don't think someone deserves "congratulations" because they decide to get married. It takes time and effort to find the right person, and a marriage should only occur when two people are ready to make a serious promise to each other.

Here's the thing - anyone can just go and get married. The accomplishment lies in truly committing to a marriage and lovingly supporting another person through their life. I can't even comprehend how much effort and investment is present in maintaining a marital relationship.

I do want to get married, but I think my accomplishments in life are present in my education and the way I'm impacting people positively around me.

I want to have a nice wedding, but the focus needs to be on the relationship afterward.

If I get married, it will be one of the most important things I do. I will make a sacred promise to a person to stand with them forever. That's no small thing. However, getting married is not the accomplishment. Marriage is not some prize that we're supposed to chase after. Marriage is only meaningful if it's secure and good. Let's focus on cheering each other on in life and validate people for more than just getting married.

Cover Image Credit:

Jelleke Vanooteghem

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To My Best Friend Who Taught Me What True Friendship Is, I Can't Thank You Enough

"To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding."
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Dear Best Friend,

You have been a part of my life for quite some time now. You have seen my good, bad, and ugly sides and have stuck by my side through it all. I don't know if I could ever find the words to truly thank you for everything your friendship has given me, but I am definitely going to try.

Our lives have taken some twist and turn these past few years, but we have stayed strong through it all.

Thank you for judging me just the right amount.

Throughout our friendship, I have made some very questionable decisions. A lot of people would say "thanks for never judging me", but I feel like everyone needs a best friend who's going to tell them how it is; to tell them when they are about to make a bad decision or how to avoid something worse from happening. You have always told me how it is (even when I don't always want to hear it), but I know that I can come to you whenever I need someone to set me straight.

You're always down to do nothing with me.

I think that you are the one person that I can call up to hang out and do absolutely nothing with and have a good time. From the nights sitting in and playing card games to ordering Chinese food and watching an entire Netflix series while I dance around with the cat: I know that we could do anything, and nothing together and it would be fun.

But also, you're always down to get lit with me.

I swear one day we will be two old moms at a bar drinking vodka crans and laughing about the stupid shit our husbands and children do. You're always down to go out and have a good time. Even if everyone else we're with is miserable, we find a way to laugh at ourselves.

You are one of the few constant things in my life.

I've lost a lot of friends in my life, but you have stayed by my side through everything. I can't remember the last time we actually fought about anything, but even when we do we can't stay mad at each other for more than a day. I know we will be in each other's lives until we literally keel over.

I want you yo know that you're the strongest person I know.

You've dealt with things that not many people go through ever in their life. You have always been so mature, and you handle everything with grace. You inspire me every day with your goals and successes and I am so proud of you and all of your accomplishments.

Above all else, you deserve the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in your own mind and think that you deserve the things that happen to you, but please know that the only thing you deserve is happiness. Please settle for nothing short of that. It may take a bit to find your happiness, but I will be there every step of the way. You're a remarkable human being, and I want nothing but the best for you.

To the person who will hold your heart someday, please do not break it. To the person who may wrong you, you will regret it forever. To the person who will love you endlessly, love her with kindness and understanding.

You, my best friend, future bridesmaid, godmother of my children, the person to bail me out of jail, the one who lets me cry on their couch for twelve hours,

I love you.

I will cherish our friendship forever. Thank you for being you.

Love always,

Your best friend.

Cover Image Credit: Adriana Ranieri

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Visiting Your Friends At Different Colleges Is Worth The Drive

Learning about the lives my friends are living at other schools is extremely interesting.

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When I went to college, many of my friends went to different schools. Some of us went to the same college, some went to other in-state schools and some even went out-of-state. If you are ever bored and are thinking about spending the weekend with your friend at their college, I recommend doing it!

As a student at the University of Florida, I already know the best places to eat, party and relax in Gainesville. During my time here, I have met so many new people and have experienced so many new things. But, sometimes I forget that my friends are living their own lives at different schools, as well.

When I went to visit one of my best friends at the University of Central Florida, it was neat to see how she matured as a person. She took me to all the cool bars, introduced me to all of her new friends and gave me a tour of campus. Getting to see how she has evolved so much was so fascinating.

Visiting my friends at Florida State University was a whole experience in itself. I had many friends go to this school. Each of them lives their own lives, some still hang out, and some are even roommates. The culture at each university is so much different than the culture at my school. It was fun to meet all of their new classmates and sorority sisters. Getting to know the people that spend every day with the friends that I used to spend every day with is something I love to do.

If you ever have a break from studying, get a little bored, or even just miss your friends, give them a call and ask to stay with them for the weekend! I promise you will learn so much more about them and how they are taking on their new phase of life.

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