For the past three years I've subscribed to only one piece of advice when it comes to relationships:

Just break up.

I would spew it out verbatim to friends in times of turmoil and act like I was saving their lives with my blunt honesty. And just what was my thought process, you ask? You're only young once, so why waste your youth scrambling to make something work when you don't even know who you are yet?

I took that advice and ran with it myself. Being single was a gift from God, and my time abstaining from relationships did indeed lead to a lengthy period of growth and self-discovery. Even when it was hard to be alone, as it seemed at points that loneliness loomed over me like an omnipresent shroud of thick, black smoke, I persisted. And I thought, for sure there will come a time when I'll be ready to get back out there.

For sure there will come a time when I know who I am.

But here we are, three years since I traded in my hopeless romanticism for a more pessimistic approach. Am I comfortable enough with myself to be able to give dating a shot? Surprisingly—although being shocked may be a direct result of my overconfident naivety—I am not, or not in the way I thought I would be, at least.

I expected to have a smooth road paved towards my future by now. I expected my insecurities to be swept into the ditch. I expected…

I expected too much from myself.

I've learned over the past couple of months that there's never going to be a time when I stop growing; I am constantly accompanied by discovery, and I love that. So, that's just it then. I'm never going to be "ready" in the ways I thought I should be, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't give it a shot every now and then.

I stand by some of what I said in the past. You're only young once, so don't waste your time scrambling to make something work when you don't have to. When the going gets tough, it's fine to hit the road. People have their own responsibility to grow. Sometimes two people will grow parallel to one another, and sometimes one will have to bend a little in order to find their own light, and that's okay.

There's a lot to be learned from being single, and there's a lot to be learned from being in relationships, as well. My only job is to give this thing called life everything I've got—and to never stop learning.