It seems like every Sunday morning I lay in bed, reflect and try to clean up the mess that was my week. Nearing 21 years old, I know my priorities are finally getting straight and I am doing the best I can, but there is still that voice in my head saying, “Get your life together."
Your early 20s are the crazy and selfish years meant for discovering yourself. One second your biggest stressor is the ACT and SAT, and the next you’re making car payments and sweating over how expensive two-bedroom apartments are. It all happens entirely too fast.
This is the time we learn what we want to be, who we want to be with, and what we want to do. We are expected to set the tone for our future. The dumb choices we may make are looked down upon because we are “running out of time." Four years of undergrad is given to us to figure it all out and then we are expected to be let go into the world, right? Ehh.
We look around at everyone else and it looks as if they have it all together. Your roommate is in love, your best friend has a 4.0, and the girl across the hall has her entire future figured out. But think again… because that roommate’s relationship may be toxic and could end in an hour, your best friend is miserable because she’s locked in the library every night, and the girl across the hall wants to change her major for the fourth time but is terrified she is running out of time. NOBODY has it all figured out. We just pretend to. Nothing will stress you out more than thinking you need to have it all together. Does anyone ever have it all figured out? Am I ever going to be able to catch a common cold without having to call my mom crying?
I definitely am not normalizing living out of your parents’ basement until you’re 30. But does turning 20 mean you need to have that full-time job pinned for post-graduation, be dating your soul mate, have enough money saved up to buy a three-bedroom house, and have the next 60 years of your life planned out? Of course not. The beauty lies in the chaos. There’s something oddly satisfying about burning the candle that is life at both ends. Leading a functional life while everything around you is a hot mess can sometimes feel like the greatest achievement. How many nights in a row can I stay out too late while still maintaining straight A’s? Let’s find out.
With that said, yes, we actually do need to get our lives together. But not all at once. Establishing yourself and learning to become more independent all while making those stupid mistakes is what makes things all fall into place. Those impulsive choices lead to the shit finally coming together. That loser boyfriend you only dated for three months taught you what you deserve, what you like, and what you don’t. Changing your major four times is saving you from being stuck in a job you’ll hate for the rest of your life. Those wild Friday (or Monday) nights are going to be great stories to tell for the rest of your life. This complicated, confusing and entirely stressful time we are in right now is all going to be worth it.
We do not have to have it all together. I am not sure if I ever completely will. But you’ve got to stay motivated and on top of things. Get as close to perfect as possible while enjoying the days that we are still young. Do your homework, study for that exam, and save your money. But for God’s sake… Go out on a Tuesday night if you want to, spend money on a ridiculous concert, fall in love for the sixth time, cry for the third time today, and ENJOY YOUR 20s.
