As a kid who challenges themselves, I find myself to be the only the only black person in the room. Whether it’s National Honors Society or AP English I am more often than not the only African American female in the room. As a result of being around others who intellectually challenge themselves, the discrimination I face does not usually come from the racist Trump supporter making ignorant statements but rather the discrimination I experiences comes in the form of small microaggressions.
Microaggressions are much more difficult to pinpoint than blatant racist or sexist comments. For example, in my geometry class sophomore year, even when I answered the question correctly the teacher told me I was wrong, even though it was correct. Another time, someone asked me and a group of my friends how to do a problem and when I showed her how she thought I was wrong and asked someone else (it turned out I was right). Another time when I teacher asked me if I was sure I was in his class. Or in AP English when I got a 96% on my 15 page paper and another student got mad that I received a higher grade. My response to these instances is usually one of affirmation. “Yes, I’m sure.” Or I just blatantly ignore it because when you hear these comments everyday, it gets tiring to challenge them.
One could easily argue that all of these instances had nothing to do with my race or my gender because my teacher didn’t say “you’re wrong because you’re black” and the kid didn’t say he was mad because a black kid did better than him. Underlying all of these instances were people who doubted my intelligence simply because I am an African American female. Regardless of the fact that I took 4 AP’s last year, regardless of the fact that I am near a perfect GPA, regardless of the fact that I went to Harvard and took two summer courses, regardless of the fact that I am nearly fluent in French, regardless of the fact that I continually get the highest test scores in my class, regardless of the fact that I am in the top 10% of my class or regardless of the fact that I am in four honors societies, my intelligence is and will always be continuously dismissed because people make assumptions about me based on my skin color.
There are many other forms of discrimination I face from both the black and white community simply because I choose to take harder classes and have the dream of going to Harvard. White people say “I’m not really black” and black people tell me “I’m too white.” I have been placed in a bubble, a grey area in which I have no company. It is a tiring cycle of consciously choosing when I need to “act white” and “act black” in order to make it through. Continuous questioning about whether my answer was right or if I’m sure I am in the right class have forced me to continually question my work ethic, my intelligence,and my worth when it comes to education. But at the end of the day I go to school to gain an education not for the validation of anyone else but so that I can be successful and fulfill my dream of going to one of the best schools in the country. At the end of the day I refuse to let anyone’s ignorance to inhibit me from my own success.
