A gentleman's guide to the 21st century slang people say.

1. Get the f*ck out of my way

a. Prithee, translate the fornication that lies between myself and my destination about a horizontal axis until it no longer impedes me from reaching my destination.

2. That was solid (said after someone performs an action).

a. The action you have just performed could best be described as tangible.

3. That’s not cool bro

a. That which hath exited your mouth is of a higher temperature than that which surrounds it, thus rendering it nonviable for conversation amongst male comrades.

4. I shit you not

a. I do not release excrement in the presence of this subject matter unless said excrement is the excrement of truth.

5. Laughing my ass off

a. What you have recently stated, be it a joke or perhaps a witty slur, has amused me to such an extent that my posterior region is detaching itself from my body.

6. It’s cold as hell

a. If I were to approximate the current heat divergence between my epidermis and the external environment, it would be the antithesis of biblical representations of the underworld.

7. What’s wrong?

a. I do beseech you.

b. Prithee, reveal those issues that bring upon thee such compunctions.

8. Yup

a. Quite so.

9. Be right back

a. I am taking leave; however, I will return to my current position within an amount of time best described as minimal.

10. Bros before hoes

a. Please note that in any decision, especially that which regards one’s prospective actions for the evening, one must grant priority to male comrades and their insights over women that barter their bodies for financial gain.

11. Shut the front door

a. Regarding the passageway through which one would be most likely to enter this domain, I do entreat you to secure it firmly to its adjacent structure.

12. I don’t give a f*ck

a. Because of my lack of interest in the discussed subject matter, I will not provide you, or anyone else for that matter, with a tangible object representing the physical act of coitus.

13. 0 fucks given

a. If you were to compare my interest level currently to the act of procreation, and then quantify it, the quantified expression would lack the capacity to be labeled as a divisor.

14. Am I right?

a. Given the argument that I have just delineated before you regarding recent topics of discussion, do you believe that I am in the correct?

15. Wait up

a. Halt in the general upward direction so as to allow our relative distance to equate to a negligible amount.

16. Let’s do it

a. Let us partake in the action we have deemed apt during our recent conversations regarding such.

17. God damn it

a. May the deity that the church of Christ considers most grand condemn the action, thought, person, or object around which our conversation revolves or to which it pertains.

18. Hurry the fuck up!

a. Increase the rate at which the act of fornication traverses about the positive y axis

19. 420 blaze it

a. *RETRACTED FOR OFFENSIVE REASONS*

20. Cool story bro

a. I deem that chain of events you have recently described, in which you have partaken and presumably witnessed, to be suitable in entertainment value; however, I harbor immense disdain towards these events, and I am in utter disbelief at your incompetence.

21. Make me a sandwich

a. Transfer yourself into the culinary domain and, whilst there, forge for me the delectable treat of beef and bread, eponymous to the Earl of Sandwich.

22. Good luck

a. Fare well, and may the fates be kind to you.

23. That’s sick

a. What I have just experienced is so awe-inspiring, so incredible, that I am being infected by it and am quickly falling ill.

24. What’s up?

a. Do inform me of the compunctions that most trouble you at this moment.

25. How’s it going?

a. How dost thou fare, as of the morrow of this glorious day?

26. Do you have the time?

a. Would I find in your possession the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future which is regarded as a whole?

27. What time is it?

a. Would you be so kind as to inform me of the progress of the Earth’s rotation about its axis, preferably as a fraction of a 24 hour period?

28. Don’t ask me!

a. Do not question me about these matters, as they are beyond comprehension.

29. I don’t know

a. My ignorance on the subject is overwhelming, and, as such, I’m afraid I cannot formulate a valid answer.

30. I’m sorry

a. Although these words may not lessen the impact of what has occurred, I extend to you my deepest apologies.

31. YOLO

a. I am about to engage in an activity so demoralizing and idiotic, I will justify it by pointing out that our lives are finite, even though I may, in performing this action, shorten mine drastically.

b. We are mortals, and therefore once we die, we are dead. It is said that dead men tell no tales and there is no drinking after death, so let us drink, let us dance, and let us be merry now, for we may never meet again!

32. Know what I’m saying?

a. Have I laid out my arguments such that you may fathom their meaning?

33. Baller

a. literal- One who balls.

b. One whose success and magnanimity have garnered considerable popularity in high social strata, thus drawing comparison to professional athletes of great renown.

c. An object, ideal, or situation that exhibits qualities akin to those of a baller.

34. Ain’t got no

a. double negative- I have whatever item you are inquiring about

b. Unfortunately, there are none.

35. Bitches and Hoes

a. Females with vulgar attitudes and females who barter their bodies in exchange for currency.

36. Yes

a. Affirmative.

37. No

a. Negatory.

38. Sick Ass _____

a. adjective -> pertaining to, or resembling, a diseased posterior region.

39. Get it done

a. Please modify the status of the action we have just delineated such that it reflects completion

40. Let’s go overboard

a. literal -> If we were to represent crew on a marine vessel, and said vessel were to be amidst a conflagration, let us take the instinctual course of action

b. Let us augment our efforts so that they far exceed the required threshold for completion

41. I don’t understand

a. With all due respect, your attempts to resolve my queries have proven unfruitful

42. The apple does not fall far from the tree

a. literal -> The positioning and potential energy of an apple ripe for the plucking are such that, were it to fall, once it has ceased motion, we would find its distance relative to its origin would be negligible

b. The offspring differs not from the progenitor.

43. See you/See you later

a. literal -> My gaze shall fall upon you once more

b. I have the intention to establish a rendezvous with you at a later time, and so, farewell

44. Agreed

a. I second that notion

45. Let’s roll

a. literal -> let us revolve around our transverse axes

b. Come, let us venture forth

46. Fuck this shit

a. literal -> engage the feces lain before you in a primal act of sexual desire

b. My frustrations are such that I wish to secede from my current path of action

47. Fuck the police

a. Disregard the constabulary

48. I can’t stop

a. I am incapable of halting my behaviors

49. Shut the fuck up

a. Cease your driveling

50. Listen up

a. Focus your attentions upon the glory of my words

51. Too slow (after a missed high five)

a. I’m afraid the rate at which your hand lurched towards mine was unsuited for a worthy impact, therefore I withdrew mine

52. Oh shit! (said after a near miss or surprise)

a. Oh heavens!

53. Well, fuck (when you realize you’re fucked)

a. I’ve suddenly become aware of my impending doom

54. Excuse me

a. Pardon me

55. Yo dawg

a. Greetings, my fellow comrade

56. It’s all good in the hood

a. Nothing ails me at this time

57. I’m doing good (also I am doing well)

a. I am faring well

58. Happy Birthday!

a. Congratulations on your continued existence

b. You have congratulations on this annual celebration of your departure from the womb

59. How’s it hangin’?

a. Is there anything afflicting you at this time?

60. Friends with Benefits

a. A pair of individuals who acquaint each other for the sole purpose of coitus

61. Watch where you’re going!

a. Gaze not upon the wonders of this world, for the path that lies before you is riddled with obstacles

62. Talk to the hand (raise your hand up between yourself and thine enemy)

a. I do not wish to have words with you, seek counsel from the appendage before you

63. I’m busy

a. I am otherwise engaged at the moment

64. Don’t talk to me right now

a. It would be ill advised to attempt to initiate prattle with me at this moment

65. Why not? (as an answer)

a. I cannot envision any reasons not to

66. Why not? (as a question)

a. What hinders you from the specified action?

67. Here you go/here you are

a. I bequeath onto you the object of your desires

68. Well there you go (after someone describes the consequence of an action)

a. The consequences were as expected

69. Whoops!

a. Mistakes were made

70. I got this

a. Fret not, for I shall take command of this task