Gay Best Friend, GBF, the infamous term that follows the vast majority of gay men that befriend straight men and (mostly) women. In my years of being an openly gay male I have experienced this phenomena and demand of people wanting to be my friend solely for the fact that I am... lets just say more unique than the average college bro that you may come across. Whatever it is about me, it has attracted straight women, AND men, that either enjoy having my presence around because I'm an awesome guy or just because they are intrigued by the image the media portrays "gay best friends" to be. Either way I have learned to accept the obvious friendships made just because of my sexuality and me being a somewhat "token" piece to their puzzle of life. After meeting numerous friends from an array of backgrounds and social groups I have gathered a few things that they might say to me or around me (even if it is innocent and naive) that absolutely bugs the shit out of me.

To all of my gay friends just living their life and pursuing their american dream like the next guy, I hope you can relate:

1) Don't EVER Say The "F-word" Around Me

Just to be clear and upfront, I CANNOT stand whenever I hear someone I am friends with say this word around me. I have heard all of the stupid arguments from multiple people, gay and straight, about it just being a word and describing someone they don't like and saying, "its nothing personal", well it is personal. Growing up being a closeted gay and hearing this word just reinforced the negative ideas and connotations of what being gay was. People that still use this term don't understand the hurt and weight it carries to people that have heard it their whole life describing who they were afraid to openly be.

2) "If you were straight what would be your type"

I hate hypothetical questions like this. If I were straight, my type would still be men. This is mainly something that my straight guy friends would ask when they show me pictures of girls they are into and asking me if I would "do" them. I don't really feel like I'm in the position where I feel the need to owe you an answer to this question. The simple answer would be, IF I were straight my type would be women period, so don't go in depth and ask me what type of girl I would be into because the fact of the matter is I am not bi so I can't give you a controversial answer that fulfills your curiosity.

3) "I like you because you're gay and not super gay"

What does this even mean? This is like the age old argument among gays putting each other down for being more masculine than feminine guys. How do you know I'm not "gay gay"? Just because my interests widely vary doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good drag show or even dressing up and expressing how I don't like trying to fit into gender roles. Simply put, I am just ME and I will show you that if you throw my iPod on shuffle it will go from screamo (middle school phase), to Gucci Mane, to indie acoustic stuff, to Lady Gaga and Brittany Spears; I will get down to all of the above regardless of what the situation is.

4) "OMG you're gay too?! I have a gay friend that you will love!"

No I do not want to meet your gay friends no matter how awesome you say they are. Sure, I know you are trying to be friendly, but I don't need your help finding a man who is also gay.

5) "I love gay people! I have always been a huge supporter of your lifestyle!"

GREAT! I am so glad you accept my "lifestyle" and are comfortable with it to be able to feel like you need to prove to me that you aren't some conservative extremist trying to convert me to being straight. I honestly will nod my head and accept your acceptance and blessing to allow me to continue living my life as a gay man but I don't like when it comes off as I am carrying some kind of disease that you are cool with because you had your shots and research of the ideology of the struggling gay man in America. I don't like to be put into a category because I identify as gay so don't make me feel like I'm just some kind of statistic.

6) "Bro, you're like super chill and cool I would've never guessed you were gay"

Does this mean that I'm one of a kind? That all gay men have to be queens who walk around spewing sass at everyone they encounter? I'm chill and cool because of the background I grew up in and how my family raised me. Gays are more likely to be more accepting with anyone just because we can relate to being oppressed for being who we are so i'll give you that. This does not mean, however, that I enjoy your half-hearted compliments mistaking my personality to be a trait that gays can't possess.

7) "Do you only wear one earring to let other guys know you're gay?"

No, I lost the other earring my mom gave me going crazy at The Killers concert in Tucson in 2013. I don't know where this myth originates that gays need to wear one earring on their right ear to show everyone else they are gay and try to go out and cruise men. In response to this, I would be more than delighted if anyone feels generous enough to help me buy a matching diamond to complete my fit.

8) "You're the best gay best friend I have ever had"

Aww you really are too sweet. If someone were to tell me this I would let them keep going just because I like to hear good compliments about myself but this doesn't mean that I am going to ignore what I am to you, a GAY best friend instead of your best friend. Don't make me feel like some accessory to your picture perfect life that includes a gaggle of girlfriends and your token gay friend. As much as I hate to admit that I'll swoon over the title of "the best gay friend" it also makes me feel less important than your actual best friend just because of the title you label me as.

9) "That is so gay, but like the bad gay"

WTF is the bad gay? This is something I hear mostly from guy friends. Sure I've been around long enough to understand that you are using the term to describe something that isn't cool or not of your liking but please don't say that then add the "but like the bad gay" after it only when I'm around because you feel like you have to justify the right intention of your already derogatory comment.

10) "You would know, does this outfit match or what do you think I should wear tonight?"

Although I love to play fashion designer whenever I get the chance, doesn't mean I'm some kind of fashionista guru that is gonna magically throw some slammin' outfit together with your already tragic wardrobe selections. I don't know anything about fashion and will just throw on whatever I have that is clean so don't automatically assume that I am up to date on the latest trends because I tune in to Bravo or E! television programs. I watch those shows for the same reasons as everyone else, I like rotting my brain staring at the TV, breathing out of my mouth, entertained by stupid rich housewife drama wishing I could have my own TV show doing the same damn thing.

11) My Favorite Mixed Drink Is Beer

Just because I'm gay doesn't make me an expert bartender that only drinks fruity cocktails that have my weekly sugar intake in them. I drink beer, if I make a mixed drink it is going to be whatever alcohol we have and whatever there is to mix with it that's in the refrigerator. This isn't me trying to be more masculine than what people think I should be because of my sexuality, I just prefer to have a nice cold beer.

12) "Do you give it or do you take it"

Essentially, am I a top or a bottom, right? First of all I'm not going to answer that because you're most likely coming at me sideways with that question. Secondly, what difference does it make? I doubt you want to hear a whole lesson on what encompasses gay sex so don't ask me this if you're just trying to put me down for assuming I "take it". Stop bottom shaming gays just because you get a kick out of it because you have some masculinity complex issue that limits your sexual horizons. Just remember who is best friends with the girls you sleep with and all of the things they tell us about your sexual conquests; yes they have told us about the time you wanted to experiment with your backdoor, and yes we laughed at your expense.