With school starting back up here at Point Park University (and I'm sure many other Universities around the world), you've definitely heard the term "gay by May." Being a very small liberal arts college, it's amazing what coming into an environment with more open-minded and creative people can do for you. The idea is that almost everyone at PPU is somewhat gay by the end of their first year of college.
Personally, I was Queer by New Year (holla!). I am here to tell you that even if you are coming from a very conservative past or environment, it is 1000 percent okay to be who you are here, and hopefully at any other college/university. Let me tell you a secret... No one knows you yet! You can just say to someone in conversation after one day of meeting them, "I'm gay," and that will be all they've ever known of you! It's amazing. Everyone else is, or knows, someone who has gone through, or is going through, the same sexuality/gender identity/preference changes that you are! Here are some tips to help get you through what can be a very difficult time for some people:
- Confide in someone! Whether it's a friend, a teacher, a parent, or a therapist. Just talk about your feelings with someone. It's the only way that you're going to figure out what's really going on inside of your head.
- Ask questions! I am a pansexual woman in a relationship with a FTM trans man. Trust me, people have TONS of questions to ask us, and we love it! We would much rather you sit down and ask us than whisper about it behind our backs (or right in front of us for that matter). If someone is offended by you asking questions, then they're just not the right person to ask right now. Don't let this discourage you!
- Do your research! There is TONS of information online, and a trillion words regarding sexuality or gender and their meanings. For example, pansexual! Just type that sucker right into Google and you get this: "Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity." Boom!
- Acknowledge other people going through the same experience! In fact, just acknowledge other people. Be open to any and everything. Trans people are real. Bisexual people are real. Trans men who are feminine? Real. Trans women who are masculine? Real. Bisexuals with a preference for women? Real. Bisexuals with a preference for men? Real. Acknowledge and accept everyone.
- Don't be afraid to explore! Try out different looks, clothes, pronouns, and relationships! Who cares!? This is about learning more about YOU, and I can tell you right now that Point Park is one of the safest places to do it.
- Dealing with hate. Don't get me wrong, you'll get a little bit of hate from everywhere, and sometimes from where you would least expect it. As hard as it may be, these just aren't the people for you. Even if you've known them for years, even if they are your family, these relationships are a privilege, not a right. I know how hard it can be to lose someone for being yourself, but you will persevere and find the people who love you for you.
Good luck on your road to self discovery (and check in with yourself around May, wink wink)!
