Let's Say Goodbye To The "Gay Best Friend"
Start writing a post

Let's Say Goodbye To The "Gay Best Friend"

What's wrong with having a best friend that'll check out other men with you? Plenty.

Let's Say Goodbye To The "Gay Best Friend"

“What’s in a name?” At some point in our lives, we’ve seen this line or skimmed past it during English class in high school. It comes from William Shakespeare’s famous play "Romeo and Juliet." While we may have breezed over it and gotten to the star-crossed lover’s profession of love and adoration, there’s something to be said about that phrase. What’s in a name?

Society is obsessed with names. We’re named after successful social figures, family members, representations from pop culture or a name that our parents thought would best suit us. To be frank, names are very important. Our name is the first and arguably most vital piece of our identity. Think about it; we don’t introduce ourselves by the profession we’re in, the schools we attend or the color of our clothes that we’re wearing. Not only are those really poor and potentially temporary ways to identify oneself, I would be alarmed if someone came up to me and said "Hello, I’m the man with the Red Polo and Khaki pants.” I’d probably ask if they worked for Target and could get me a discount. But that’s beside the point.

At this point, you’re probably wondering what this has to do with the “GBF.” Don’t click away just yet. Like a fine wine we have to sit and let it soak up the flavors before we give it out for tasting. We’ve just corked the bottle, and sent it out to the site. We’re almost there!

For those who don’t know what a “GBF” is, you're in luck. A “GBF” is a “Gay Best Friend;” a token member of a friend-group who is a man but imbibes in everything that his female counterparts can. People think of a “GBF” as someone who you can drink appletinis and sing Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles” with after you’ve gossiped about good-looking boys and gotten your nails done. And, to a very limited extent, this can be true! The key words of the phrase being “very,” “limited” and “extent”.

One of the worst things that comes from people seeking out a “GBF” is just that — they’re looking for someone who will fulfill that very stereotypical role without considering the fact that they are people with names and personalities. The GBF is merely a complement to the woman, an accessory if you will. When looking for someone to be a friend with these qualities, society is perpetuating the idea that gay men are just glorified Ken dolls (perfect hair, smoothed over genitals and all). This socially-accepted marginalization of the gay-male community is something that should be addressed because there’s a vast amount of diversity within it. The gay culture does not solely consist of Frankie Grande and Jonathon Groff look-a-likes; there are people who look like Larry the Cable Guy, Hulk Hogan and Michael Cera, too. (As a note, not all of the aforementioned men are actually gay — the only fire that I'm here to start is the one that burns down this awful stereotype.)

The “Gay Best Friend” stereotype is just that — a stereotype. It can lead to shallow relationships founded on materialism, glamorization and downright cultural appropriation that leaves a majority of the gay community outside the box. By leaving these people out, you're just missing out on the opportunity to meet some amazing human-beings that'll bring you more joy than a Starbuck's run and a Victoria's Secret bag. There's a societal value placed on those who can fulfill the GBF stereotype that comes with the diminution of worth for those who don't quite fit that role. This is unacceptable. There's more than enough discrimination going on within and outside of the LGBTQI community; I don't think it's wise that we continue to set limits on the worth that people have for the sake of role perpetuation.

So, what does this have to do with names?

In short, solely searching for someone to be your manicure man-friend is like taking away their name; you lose out on the salsa that makes them the spicy specimen that they are. And, what's a good friend-chip without some nice salsa? (I better guac away from this conversation before you get jalepeñ-my business for the bad puns).

Regardless, there's more to a person (and a good friendship) than the novelty that they may come with. This isn't to say that you can't go out with this friend to try on clothes and sip cosmos like you're on "Sex and the City." Just remember that they're a complex person, too. And, one day, instead of having a "GBF," you'll just have a BF that just happens to be G.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

A Conversation About Sex

"Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature." - Marilyn Monroe

Thinking Beyond Barriers

There it is. Even though I'm not around you, I can feel it. Was there a flutter of embarrassment in your mind when you saw the word sex in this article’s title? Did you look over your shoulder to ensure nobody was around before you began to read this?

Keep Reading... Show less

13 Signs You Are A True Cancer Of The Zodiac

Calling all babies born June 21st - July 22nd!

My Astral Life

I'm the first to admit that I am one of THOSE people who uses their zodiac sign as a description of themselves. I realize not everyone believes in astrology-related anything, and there are plenty of people who don't fit their signs. However, I'm one of the people who truly fits their sign to a tee. I'm a Cancer, a Crab, a Moon Child. It's currently our season fellow Crabs! So without further ado, here are all of the signs that you're a Cancer.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Blessing of Lacking Sex Appeal

To all the fellow non "it" girls out there


Lacking sex appeal is not a desirable thing. It makes you fee not ugly, but wrong. Not having charisma is not a life goal. It doesn't make you fee friendless, but isolated. Not being the "it" girl happens, and tonight (and every nigh prior to this)

Keep Reading... Show less

Confessions From the Single Friend of the Group

It is truly the worst place to be

Confessions From the Single Friend of the Group

Look. If you are anything like me, complaining about being single is such a hard thing to because you are genuinely happy for your friends, but as they continue to be happy in their relationships, the ever crushing weight of being the single friends can become overwhelming. For context, my primary friend group consists of four people. We are all roommates and it is a great time here. All three of my roommates have boyfriends/girlfriends, which makes our friend group of four quickly jump to seven, and it is wonderful! I love my roommates so much and I love their S.O's, but no matter how much I love them I always get extremely jealous and sad. The sad thing is that the only part that ever truly ends up bugging me is that since I am single, they are my go-to top priorities and it has been really hard to watch myself slip from the top of their go-to's to not being their go to when they feel the weight of the world. What makes it harder is that expressing that I feel alone and unwanted makes me sound jealous and like I don't want my friends to hangout with their people. I get it. I do. But there are just days I want to be someone's first pick and I'm not.

Keep Reading... Show less

Aretha Franklin Will Forever Be A Detroit Legend, I'm Proud To Share A Hometown With Her

Aretha Franklin lost her battle to pancreatic cancer, so we stop to reflect on her powerful journey.

Aretha Franklin Will Forever Be A Detroit Legend, I'm Proud To Share A Hometown With Her

Recently, Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, passed away. Ms. Franklin grew up singing in her church's choir in Detroit. Over the years, she decided to make singing a career, first signing to Columbia Records at 18. Years later, she signed with Atlantic Records where her most powerful tunes, such as "Respect," are remembered to this day. Her breathtaking vocals earned her 18 Grammy Awards and made her one of the best-selling artists of all time.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments