For most of my life, I wanted to be a big star on Broadway. I wanted my name in lights. I wanted to end each night with crowds of people on their feet chanting my name: "Bobbie! Bobbie! Bobbie!" I wanted it all. I wanted to sign autographs, to sing my heart out in front of the world, to be a different person each and every night. I wanted the backstage drama, the stressful rehearsal schedule, the full body exhaustion from days of intense choreography, and even the waitressing job at a greasy diner to provide some sort of income. I was ready and willing to do it all...
Until the end of my senior year of high school. I had already committed to a school and was planning on majoring in Musical Theatre. I had turned down various conservatories despite being accepted in order to get a more rounded education. I was starring in my school musical, and I was ready for fame.
But after my final bow of my final high school show, I quit theatre. I stopped doing it completely. I did not even go see the productions at my school. I switched majors and tried not to look back. I did not even join band or choir in college. I stopped doing everything I had loved for years and years.
I had been told during my senior year production that I was talentless. I had been told I was not good enough for the school show--despite being cast as the lead--and that I was definitely not good enough to do theatre professionally. The director told me I could not sing, dance, or act. He told me I did not deserve to be the lead and that he regretted casting me. My heart was crushed. I wanted to quit the show then and there, but I stuck it out because I had been waiting my entire life for this chance to showcase my talent.
But once I took the bow, thanked the audience for coming, took off my wig, and left the cast party, I did not step back on a stage for over two years.
I do regret that, but I was able to step out and find a world of things I never would have discovered if I had not left theatre.
I discovered social justice. I discovered ancient history. I discovered a world of knowledge previously unknown to me. I now study the widest breadth of topics one can study at my school. I plan to work in the nonprofit sector. I want to change peoples' lives for the better every day of my life.
Nothing is like bowing in front of an audience filled with people clapping for you. Nothing feels like the heat of stage lights or the anticipation as the pit orchestra plays the opening notes of an Overture. But I have found something I love equally as much.
Having the opportunity to work directly with people is incredibly gratifying. I have taught grown adults how to read. I have learned sighted guide and orientation methods in order to help individuals with visual impairments. I have developed incredible relationships with individuals with multiple disabilities. I have traveled the world and discovered ways to end poverty, homelessness, world hunger, human trafficking, female genital mutilation, and war. I have learned how to be an advocate for those without the privileges I have.
I know all about the past. I know all about how ancient civilizations worked politically and socially. I know the mistakes which led to the fall of those great empires, and I see modern countries make the same mistakes. I read the news and understand how to organize and fund raise to solve the problems within those articles. I write a blog for Odyssey and for my local newspaper. I have traveled to 11 countries on a cruise ship and studied intercultural communications.
I could not have done any of these things if I had my nose stuck in a libretto. I could not have done any of these things if I was busy perfecting a time step in a dance studio. Maybe some people can do both, but when I do something, I do it with my entire heart. I am not known for lacking investment.
I still love theatre, and I even recently stepped back on a stage and performed. It made me sad for all the years I lost, but I cannot regret what I have gained from those years. Losing what I thought was my destiny, my dream, led me to a bigger and greater dream.
So if your dream does not work out, then maybe you should consider the possibility that something even greater will come to you. Find a new dream. It is worth it.