This game called love. Imma keep it real. Growing up I was never the type to dream about a wedding or a family. I had one dream. One goal. That was to become a doctor. Focus on me. Love me. Be all about me. Until love slapped me. Or I thought it was love. Age 13. 9th grade. My first love. Sylvester. Age 19. Florida. My favorite love. D'Jems. Age 20. Husband. Joseph. The hardest love. No that's not their real names but that's what we shall call them. If you know then you know. I've only loved 3 men in my entire life. I'm 25. Still young right ?

Sylvester - 1st Love. 1st Hate

I was 13 he was 16. Do we speak now ? Nah. Last contact ? January 2019.

The first guy to tell me he loves me. To actually show me how it was to have a real bf. This wasn't a play relationship. As a matter a fact we dated for 4 years. Started high school dating him. Graduated high school with our daughter. Yeah. We have a kid together. But that's not her father. Different story. Another time. I lost my virginity to him. I was head over heels for him. He walked me to school every morning and made sure to pick me up after. He was definitely not a cute one. Wtf was I thinking ? Oh yeah. I was 13. 1 year down 2,3 now here comes baby. Baby here everything changed. He changed. I changed. I grew up. I don't know what it was. His insecurities ? Lack of trust ? But he was not the same guy I fell for. We couldn't agree on anything. Things got physical. I got out. Love ? No. Lust ? Maybe. He's not in my child's life and quite frankly he's not wanted. So here's to my first love. I hate you. You're a weak individual & I'm tired of being the bigger person so Fuck you Sylvester.

D'Jems - 2nd Love. Favorite Love

I was 19 he was 20. Do we speak now ? Yes. Last contact ? Like 5 minutes ago.

19 with a 2 year old. Man do I love you. Y'all know love at first sight ? Well this is it. I kid you not, as I type this I'm still in love with you. But you know that. My second love. The greatest love of them all. You took my child in as your own & you showed us the love we needed. You made love to me like it was always our last. You prayed for me & cared for me. Not only did you show it but you made sure I felt it. Not a day goes by that you aren't on my mind. I wish I had married you. But everything happens for a reason. D'Jems my heart beats for you. I love you so much. I met him at a tough time. I just moved to a new state. I hung out with him once & I knew then I had to make him mine. I was in a long distance relationship but that quickly changed lmao. This is that sweet tv love you see & go that shit fake. Nah. It ain't fake. & that's why we still in love till this day. But it wasn't always glitter & sparkles. We did come to an end at one point. I hurt you. Baby I'm so sorry. You accepted my apology and we tried. But you were still hurt. So you left me. You found someone new and left me. But did you really leave ? Well it's time for love number 3. Oh so here's to my 2nd love. I love you. I want us to work. But I refuse to let this go without a real fight.

Joseph - 3rd Love. Hardest Love.

I was 20 he was 21. Do we speak now ? Yes. Last contact ? About a hour ago. You Joseph.

My husband. The father of my 3 beautiful children. I love you. I loved you. We said I do. Only to say we don't. I gave you my all. It wasn't enough. I was not enough. You hurt me. You took and kept taking. I could never hate you. I care for you. You will always be apart of my life. I am a female you. I've watched you change and manifest over the years. I've seen you cry. I've watched you laugh. We did things together that I will never do with another soul. You were my best friend. Unfortunately you fucked up so many times I had to break ties. You made me laugh, cry, worry, scream. Every emotion God put on this earth you've made me seen. You brought out my crazy. You can control my mind with your eyes & that's when I knew you had to go. Our marriage should have ended in the very beginning. We both know we were wrong. We didn't marry for love but we became goals. The youngest out or group to take that big step. We created a path for others to follow. We had children. We even separated. Dated other people and got back together. Your family is my family. I got your back always. I'm rooting for you in every way possible. But damn you fucked up. I was an amazing wife. I was submissive. I catered to your every need. I nurtured you. I put you before me. You were the head. My rock. My shoulder. My husband. Chub you know I got you. & thank you for my boys & loving our Maya. You will forever be in my heart. I know your plan & I won't stand in your way. Just know I say a prayer for you each and every day. So Joseph here's to you my 3rd love. You were my fairytale. My happily ever after. But you are not my Prince Charming. You aren't going anywhere we have children.

So my 1st love taught me that you get a few tries in life. You grow up and out grow people. It's not the end of the world. My 3rd love taught me patience. It really goes a long way. And my 2nd love, D'Jems ? Well baby we are back again and let's get our shit together this time please. I'm done playing with you. I've prayed. I've fasted. Just give me some more time. I got us. I promise. Put your trust in me. Or don't but I'm here to try one more time. Give us a fair chance.

Welp that's the end of this love story. Until next time mfs. 😘