Hey Valentine's Day...MOVE BITCH, get out the way! I ain't saying I am a Valentine's day hater but I ain't saying it's my favorite holiday of the year. Thankfully, the dark ages were filled with light as Leslie Knope and the women of the world united and created, Galentine's Day...Angels sang, choirs preached, the EPA was funded again, and the heavens opened their gates. Whether you are single, taken, or making up fake scenarios in your head with the guy you had a one night stand with last weekend, these are 7 easy things you should do with your gal (or guy) pals this Galentine's Day.
1. Bottomless Brunch
Brunch is a God sent. Stuff your face with breakfast specials and fill your soul with mimosas. This is a day for you and your friends, and your friends include food. So throw your inhibitions and your new year's resolutions away today, because brunch is calling. The best part, on Galentine's Day you can eat your brunch in peace without seeing the couples who sit side-by-side when they dine together. We know who are you are, and we are judging you, ~stuffs chocolate croissant into mouth~
2. Watch a R-Rated Dakota Johnson Film
50 Shades Darker, hell yea. I can't promise this movie will be good. I can't promise if you will walk away a new woman. But grab your friends because I can promise you that you'll find some relief about your own sex life after watching this film. Embarrassed to watch? Well with the support of your friends this Galentine's Day, it will BUILD YOUR CHARACTER YOU PUSSY. Besides, it's more embarrassing to admit you watched this alone on actual Valentine's Day (we know who you are, and we are judging you).
3. Watch the other R-Rated Dakota Johnson Film
No you ignorant fool, not the original 50 Shades of Grey, I''m talking about How To Be Single. This film should be shown to every student in middle school health class or every serial dater (we know who you are, and we are judging you). It is THAT good and hilarious. It personally touched my heart (something no man or piece of chocolate ever did) to the point I needed to take a reflective walk. I found a new meaning to life that day, and $20 dollars in my coat pocket. In all seriousness, this is the ULTIMATE Galentine's Day movie.
4. Treat Yo SELF!
What's worse than being single and lonely on Valentine's Day? Being in a relationship and your SO gives you the shittiest gift ever (we know who you are, and we are judging you). On Galentine's Day, we know that you know yourself best, so treat yourself in the best way possible. Book a massage, get your nails done, splurge on a venti Starbucks drink! You LOVE yourself, so gather your friends and buy yourselves something pretty. I mean, those Lulu Lemon leggings are over priced but no man can cup your butt in the same way...mmmhmm.
DRINKKK your heart out with your besties Natalya, Caroline, Alexis, Sangria, Tequila, Jager and Shots! Be carefree and have fun, because life goes fast and honestly... your body won't be able to bounce back as quickly one day, so take advantage NOW. So c'mon, the whole gang is here, bottoms up! (drink responsibly).
BONUS POINTS: If you are drunk enough, prank call all your ex boyfriends, you got nothing to lose except maybe that last bit of respect they had for you. Oh wait, you don't care about their opinions! ~blinds his ass with your fleek, cheek highlighter~
6. Secret Galentine Gift
Every one has that one friend who deserves the world. But because boys be playin, fuckboys are ghosting, and the tinder flame is dying, they have been under-looked. SO, this Galentine's Day, send your pal some chocolates, a cute card, or a Chipotle gift card...anonymously. Because you love and appreciate them. And because you are their friend, feel free to embarrass them by getting your local school Acapella group to serenade them in a public setting! May I suggest the song Rude Boy by Rihanna?
7. Post that hot Instagram
A fierce post-gym selfie? A group shot of your friends? A #nofilter pic of the food you are eating? No matter what the content is, post the damn pic this Galentine's Day. You deserve a plethora of likes and a confidence boost. Because let's be real, confidence is sexy whether you are single or taken. Let the world know that you are living life this Galentine's Day. Just please, oh please don't be the person who Instagrams a whiny quote about Valentine's Day (we know who you are, and we are judging you). Sip on your Haterade and move on.
No matter what you do this Galentine's Day, just remember to celebrate your friends and yourself. Because love is fu*king hard, but good times and good vibes from good friends is easy. This article is dedicated to all my ahhhmaazzing friends from Warde, WRATS, and Union...you guys rock, never change (you know who you are, and I know you are rolling your eyes at me for this article).