An opinion piece caught my eye the other day. It was titled “A Guy’s 10 Reminders to Girls Going Through Recruitment.” This was written for the same organization that I am a part of, "Odyssey". It was very well written and I understood why it was written; however, there was something that irked me. If it was written by a woman who went through the experiences of sorority recruitment, I could have understood. But the simple fact that it was written by a man got under my skin. “Why,” you may ask, “it’s just a small piece written with good intentions.” This may be true, but it’s part of a huge problem within our society.

The simple fact of the matter is that I am not a male. I have a vagina and I identify as a female member of this society. As an independent woman during a transitional period in my life, college, I am still figuring out what I value and what decisions I need to make during my path to my career. However, I hold one belief that is undeniable and it has formed my social interactions and even my choice in college. Men should not hold any contrived influence on the mind or actions of a woman.

The definition of contrived describes it to mean, “planned or forced; strained”, and it can be taken to mean various types of influence. Why do men feel the need to dish out advice to women when they have never truly gone through the same experiences we have? Why do men feel the need to comment on behaviors they find unattractive in women? From the way we dress, to how we behave in public and even to the tone in which we speak. It may come as a shock to some men, but I do not exist to behave in accordance with your view of me or of my experiences.

I can hear the outrage. “But this doesn’t exist in our society today,” and “how can you be so narrow-minded, I’m not like that,” are two phrases I’ve heard multiple times before. The first is false. It isn’t so much about direct degradation, it focuses on subtlety and emotional breakdown of independence in women. I’ll admit, this is a very emotionally-charged subject affecting all from opinion-based writers, to friends on social media and my peers in class. My statements aren’t blanketed to all males, but these sentiments against women are present within everyday life all around us.

There is shame here. It isn’t from open discrimination against women in the United States because, here at least, this has mostly passed. What I’m talking about is the staring at dark hair on women’s arms, legs and armpits, the ranking of physical beauty in media and how there is still an inherent disparity in the wages of females versus males. I’m talking about how men give advice about what we should think about ourselves and our friends. About how we shouldn’t put any stock into various relationships.

Honestly, this piece isn’t about changing the men who read it. I needed to say that I am tired. Take this article for what you will, but my being tired is about how I am living my own life, making my own decisions and there is nothing anyone can say that will change my mind about my sense of style, determination, relationships or my body. I am a woman and I do not need advice from men. If you are a woman, trust yourself. You are your best guide in life.