I want to be yours forever. Do you want us to be yours forever?
I never know what you're thinking. I'm always seeing the future, but you can only see in the present. Is it just me or do you want me to be your happily ever after, your perfect midnight ending? Do you want to come home to me after a long work night? Do you want to talk to me about your life and everything that is going on? Or do you just want us in the present and soon in the past?
I want to commit, I want to hear you scream that you want to commit, but for some reason, I'm feeling insecure. I'm feeling like you're scared, you're scared to be with me. Do you see a future with me? Can you taste the dream of being with me? Or are having nightmares of being with me...forever? Am I wasting my time, should I just go now? Do you want me to leave now? Should I move on without you? Or should I stay? Should I stay because you see me, gray and old with your wrinkles, together as a whole? Should I stay because you see a future but are too scared to realize it?
But I can't keep playing the game. I want you, all of you, but if you can't express, if you can't say you can see me and you 7 years from now, with a baby one the way, with a ring on my left finger, then should I even try. Should I try to make us work anymore? If I see a future and you can barely see the present with us anymore, should I put the effort in, or should I just let us go? Should I let you go, and wander into the wild, so you can figure out what you want. I know what I need, what I want, but I can give you time. Just enough time to figure out what you need, what you want.
I won't be waiting too long, I'll need to grieve too, but since I love you, I'd wait long enough for your answer. Your answer, whether it be bad or good. Whether I love it or hate it, I know you'll be honest, honest with yourself and me. You'll know in the end if you see a future or if I'm just your passing time. And I'll try to understand one way or another because I'd rather have you happy than be miserable, whether it be with or without me. I know the answer I would prefer, but I can't decide for you.
Our lives are changing, changing fast. You want to be in the west, getting a better pay grade, while I'm still trying to figure what I want to do with my career, my life. I want to be with you, I want all of you, but I'm scared that I'm not enough for you. That you'll find someone on the west that shines brighter than I did on the east. And that's what I'm scared of and that's why I need to know what our future holds. I know it scares you shitless to think about the future, but for my own insecurities, for my own comfort I need to know whether we will make it, whether you're all in or all out. Whether you want us or are ready to move on without me when you leave this place for good....