You know how it goes. It's 2007, you had a long day at school passing notes and wearing graphic tees from Hollister, and Nickelodeon turns into Nick at Nite and Full House comes on. I recently dove into some archives (Thank you, online streaming) and watched some of the show I used to watch religiously and realized how terrible it really is. Here's why.
1. Stephanie Tanner is annoying AF
Yes Stephanie, I know it's rude. Stephanie Tanner constantly complains and seeks attention from wherever she can get it. It's hard to like her.
2. Jesse and Rebecca live in an attic... AN ATTIC
It's already insane that 7 people are living in a 3 bedroom house, but are you seriously trying to tell me that Jesse and Rebecca are totally fine with living their lives and raising their twin boys in an ATTIC. Yes, it's renovated and yes, there's an episode where they almost move out but come on. Nobody would choose to live in their brother-in-law's attic forever.
3. Kimmy Gibbler
Kimmy Gibbler is the worst person on the planet. She's constantly just walking in and out of the Tanner's house and flirting with Uncle Jesse. Her feet apparently smell like garbage and I think she desperately needs to take a shower and move to a different city far away from San Fransisco.
4. Joey the man-child
You want to like him, you really do. He drops his bachelor life to help his best friend and just wants to be a comedian, but honestly, he's too immature to like. Yes, we know he's a comedian but he takes it way too far. You're a 40-year-old man who always has a woodchuck puppet on hand and a bedroom filled with stuffed animals and Popeye-themed toys? Nope. Undateable.
5. All of the goofy sayings
There are so many tag-lines in this show it's hard to keep count. One is funny, but 100 different sayings for each character? No. "How rude"; "You got it dude"; "Have mercy"; "Oh my lanta"; "Cut. It. Out."; "Whoa baby"; Just chill.
6. The sappy lesson in the end of every single episode
Every episode ends the same: a lesson learned about why family is the most important covered by some sappy music in the background and lots of hugging. We get it, you love your family.
7. Comet the dog doesn't get as much recognition as he deserves
Comet is one of the cutest dogs to ever walk this Earth yet only one episode is fully dedicated to him when he runs away. Totally unfair. Comet is the most important member of the family and deserves more. Shame on you, Full House.
Yes, I know I've been bashing this show but let's not forget the great things about it. Michelle is the cutest child to ever exist and Uncle Jesse is the hottest TV dad in all of history. Let's get real, I'll probably spend all of my time still binge-watching this show.
