From The Writer's Room | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

From The Writer's Room

A glimpse into the fast-paced world of non-professional blogging

Nolan Nightingale
Mar 07, 2018
Susquehanna University
65
From The Writer's Room
janeb13

A lot of people have asked me what exactly what it's like writing as a columnist on Odyssey (I mean, they actually haven't, but this concept for an article struck me as funny). To properly convey the high-pressure world of non-paid internet columnists, I decided to steal the transcript of one of our recent meetings (Which totally exist. Don't question it.). Enjoy.

4:38 PM, 2/12/18


Elsie (Editor in Chief): Alright assholes, we need some motherfucking Valentine's Day articles and we need them now.

Nolan (Smart-ass writer): And get the woman some pictures of Spider-man while you're at it, Freshman scum!

Elsie: Nolan...I will personally rip your throat out and use it for type-writer ribbon.

Nolan: Understood, boss.

Elsie: I'm seeing a lot of new faces in here today, most of them Freshmen...so we'll have Sue talk to all of you real quick.

Sue (Assistant Editor): Alright, alright, alright, new faces! And technically the term is First-Years, guys.

Nolan: I would like the record to reflect that she dabbed on her way up here and then proceeded to do finger-guns.

Elsie: Nolan!

Nolan: I know, I know...rip my throat out and all that.

Elsie: Actually, I've changed my mind. I want to tear your arms off, use them as drum sticks, and perform the drum solo from "Tom Sawyer" with them.

Nolan: That would be so impressive, I'm not even sure I'd be mad.

Elsie: Sue, proceed.

Sue: Well, as all of you know-AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Elsie: What?

Sue: There was a giant cockroach right on the ground! It was crawling around.

Nolan: Oh yeah, I saw that the other day. It's gross. I named it Steven.

Elsie: Why didn't you tell any of us that we had an infestation?

Nolan: ...For the meme?

Elsie: I hate everything about you. Alright, everyone hit me with your article pitches. Nolan, I see your hand. I'm still not calling on you.

Nolan: Why?

Elsie: Your article is just gonna be a real meta concept that won't get too many page views because it's so far up its own ass.

Nolan: That's not all it'll be...There will be dick jokes, too.

Elsie: Aren't you just the Vonnegut of your generation?

Nolan: And I have far worse problems than my dick jokes, thank you very much.

Elsie: Like what?

Nolan: I never know how to end an article.



Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

AI music threatens creativity

The Soul of Sound: How AI Challenges Human Expression in Music

289099
Humans and robots face off in a rock band battle with guitars and drums, under dynamic lighting.
StableDiffusion

In an age where artificial intelligence can mimic the voice of Freddie Mercury or reimagine pop hits as synthwave ballads, a new frontier has emerged — one that blurs the line between innovation and erosion. While AI offers undeniable benefits in technical domains, its intrusion into creative arts, especially music, raises urgent questions. Not just about copyright, but about culture, education, and the very soul of artistic expression.


Keep Reading...Show less
ai generated music
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

Miami University
622797
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
music
Entertainment

Why Your Astrological Sign May Not Match Your Personality

We are all more than just one sign.

SUNY Plattsburgh
537338
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
astrology
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

UNC Greensboro
515431
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
spring
Relationships

The Importance Of Being A Good Person

An open letter to the good-hearted people.

Sacred Heart University
788838
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
good person

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments