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From The Writer's Room

A glimpse into the fast-paced world of non-professional blogging

Nolan Nightingale

Mar 07, 2018

Susquehanna University

janeb13

A lot of people have asked me what exactly what it's like writing as a columnist on Odyssey (I mean, they actually haven't, but this concept for an article struck me as funny). To properly convey the high-pressure world of non-paid internet columnists, I decided to steal the transcript of one of our recent meetings (Which totally exist. Don't question it.). Enjoy.

4:38 PM, 2/12/18

Elsie (Editor in Chief): Alright assholes, we need some motherfucking Valentine's Day articles and we need them now.

Nolan (Smart-ass writer): And get the woman some pictures of Spider-man while you're at it, Freshman scum!

Elsie: Nolan...I will personally rip your throat out and use it for type-writer ribbon.

Nolan: Understood, boss.

Elsie: I'm seeing a lot of new faces in here today, most of them Freshmen...so we'll have Sue talk to all of you real quick.

Sue (Assistant Editor): Alright, alright, alright, new faces! And technically the term is First-Years, guys.

Nolan: I would like the record to reflect that she dabbed on her way up here and then proceeded to do finger-guns.

Elsie: Nolan!

Nolan: I know, I know...rip my throat out and all that.

Elsie: Actually, I've changed my mind. I want to tear your arms off, use them as drum sticks, and perform the drum solo from "Tom Sawyer" with them.

Nolan: That would be so impressive, I'm not even sure I'd be mad.

Elsie: Sue, proceed.

Sue: Well, as all of you know-AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Elsie: What?

Sue: There was a giant cockroach right on the ground! It was crawling around.

Nolan: Oh yeah, I saw that the other day. It's gross. I named it Steven.

Elsie: Why didn't you tell any of us that we had an infestation?

Nolan: ...For the meme?

Elsie: I hate everything about you. Alright, everyone hit me with your article pitches. Nolan, I see your hand. I'm still not calling on you.

Nolan: Why?

Elsie: Your article is just gonna be a real meta concept that won't get too many page views because it's so far up its own ass.

Nolan: That's not all it'll be...There will be dick jokes, too.

Elsie: Aren't you just the Vonnegut of your generation?

Nolan: And I have far worse problems than my dick jokes, thank you very much.

Elsie: Like what?

Nolan: I never know how to end an article.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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From The Writer's Room

A glimpse into the fast-paced world of non-professional blogging

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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