Today I left my nine-month-old puppy for what feels like forever… but this is a test run. This is a two week test run for when I have to leave for four months at the end of the summer. Now, let’s keep in mind here, I left her with my mom. Someone who loves her as her own and has raised multiple pets and three children. My dog is in great care, but nothing stops the heartache you feel when you walk out of that door knowing that the next night they will not be keeping your body warm with their body.

There is something about coming home to a wet nose and a warm cuddle at the end of a long work day that can not be replaced by any other feeling. My dog has a routine when I come home to her. As she exits her kennel she finds the nearest couch, hops up and waits for me to sit down… when I do, she crawls up to my side and nuzzles her head into my side and sits there breathing in my scent. We usually sit there for a few minutes unless one of us has to use the bathroom, then on specific terms we cut the cuddle short.

At night, she uses the bathroom, drinks what seems like an entire gallon of water, then proceeds to follow me to my bed, where she waits for me to put her in it. At that point she sits waiting patiently until I crawl into bed with her. When she knows that I’m comfortable she circles the bed finding a perfect spot for her to land… It’s normally in one of two locations, in between my legs or nuzzled into the side of my body. Both of which are extremely uncomfortable to last the entire night, but I never seem to want to move her.

When we go on walks, she insists on sniffing every single plant that we pass. Given she is a beagle, she is a nose with a body, her natural instinct is to take a sniff of anything that has a scent. Our walks of one mile, last no less than 45 minutes just because of her need to stop and smell the roses.

She loves to chew sneakers. She loves to chew sunglasses. She loves to chew baseboards. Basically my dog loves to chew anything with texture… Oh, that’s everything isn’t it? She barks at you if you have cheese in your hand. And, God forbid you make pancakes and “forget” to give her a piece. She has a thing for rolling in the grass. I’m almost positive she is rolling in another dog’s urine, but it’s what makes her happy. She hates baths, but loves water. She insists on making you hold her bone while she chews. She wants to play fetch but fights you for the toy. She is a puppy. And she is everything I could have wished for and more…

There is not a single thing I would ever change about my Lily Belle. There is never a moment that I regret the decision I made seven months ago to get a puppy. She is the greatest thing about my life. She has helped to decrease my anxiety significantly. She has shown me love when it felt like the world wanted to be non-existent. She is the companion that I never thought I would find in an animal.

Leaving her with my mom is the best thing I have. If I could take her with me, I would. What I felt this morning when I walked out of my house without a leash in my hand was my heart physically breaking. The love of a dog is unconditional.