Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been the girl who took things to heart.
I guess you could call it being sensitive, but I hate using that word. (Maybe it's because I'm also the girl who has a lot of pride.) It makes me sound like I'm the girl that can't handle anything, or gets offended easily.
On the contrary, I'm the girl that has always handled everything. I always take on my own burdens and add others to the weight on my shoulders.
I was always pretty shy and a little quiet. I have always been a person who is very sensitive to people's feelings. I was always really careful with what I said and observant to their emotions. I guess you could say I have a really high capacity for empathy. That's a good thing, right? I mean, most of us were taught to have compassion and empathy for others.
In all reality:
It's a blessing, but mostly a curse.
The problem is, I read into things too much. I take people's tones, body language, words, and little comments to heart. I pick up on things more than most people do. Maybe it's because I've been hurt so much that I try to recognize signs, signals, and words to protect myself. Maybe it's a defense mechanism. Okay, it's definitely a defense mechanism.
I try to be the person who understands underlying meanings, and words unsaid.
I overthink things, and hold on to things that hurt me longer than I should. I don't get offended easily by any means, and weirdly enough, I end up consoling others even when they hurt my feelings, because I don't want my reaction to in turn hurt them. How messed up is that?
Don't get me wrong...
It's not like I have a bad life. I actually love my life and love life in general. I'm not a ball of anxiety and I'm not super emotional. I'm overly ambitious and I'm excited about everything I have going for me. I have a big sense of humor and I love to joke and can take a joke. I have grown into an outgoing person and I love that about myself, but I will forever be the girl who takes emotions to heart.
A big part of it is caring too much. It's putting others first, it's worrying about how they perceive you, and how you handle yourself. It's worrying too much. It's adding unnecessary stress and anxiety to your life because you feel everything more. Words affect you more than they affect others because you are deep. You look for deeper meaning, and maybe even sometimes accidentally create it because you're so attentive to others and how they talk to you.
You're a sponge, absorbing words and emotions and carrying them in your mind and your own heart. You feel things more. You care more. You're super aware and maybe too concerned with how others perceive you and they way others present themselves to you. Stop over analyzing.
Someone once told me that they cherished me for the quietly compassionate person that I am.
That was the most special compliment I have ever received and I have carried it in my heart ever since. Cherish yourself for your capacity for compassion and empathy, but try and find a way to stop over analyzing it all. You don't need to add more weight to life's every day burdens.
Have empathy. Have a lot of it. I mean, Drake does, and look where it got him? It's not always a curse, it makes you a beautifully deep person, and that sets you a part from so many people.
